Thursday, January 15, 2015

Alien and Weed Guy Make Friends

An Alien came down to Earth and landed in a field. The Alien walked to a small grocery store. He walked inside it.

"Hi I'm from space." said the Alien.
"Well welcome, have a look around and I hope you mean no harm." said the friendly rural clerk.
"I mean no harm." said the Alien.

Then a weed guy walked into the grocery store.

"Whoa bro are you a alien?!" asked the weed guy.
"Yes." said the Alien.
"Do you think aliens are totally rad?" said the weed guy.
"I think so." said the Alien.
"Do you think, like, if you hung out with a Ninja and a Monkey it would be hilarious?"
"Hmm no not really." said the Alien.
"What about a Ninja, a Monkey and a Pirate, and you!?"
"Nah."
"Man I think that would be so hilarious." said the weed guy.
"I guess it's not my humor."
"Weird. Do you think it's funny when people say 'taint' and 'milf' or 'what's up bitches!' in like a loud voice?"
"Hmm no."
"What about when people say something 'smells like ass' or when they call their private parts 'junk'?"
"Maybe I thought 'smells like ass' was funny the first time I heard it socially, but not anymore." said the Alien.
"Damn bro, I think all those things are hilarious every time I hear them!" said the weed guy, "I guess that's why you're a alien. Hey! You're literally a alien!" said the weed guy.
"Yes."
"Didn't you think it was funny the way I just said 'literally'?" asked the weed guy, incredulously.
"I'm afraid I don't get it." said the Alien.
"Guess you got to be a human being to get it." said weed guy.
"I don't think any of those things are that funny either." said the clerk.
"Are you an alien?" asked the stoner.
"No." said the clerk.
"Do you have Flamin' Hot Cheetos?" asked the weed guy.
"Yes they are right in front of you." said the clerk.
"Oh shit, thanks bro. Just these."

Then the weed guy paid for his Cheetos. He opened them and started eating them.
"Hey alien do you want some?" asked weed guy.

The Alien tried them and coughed because he didn't expect them to be so flamin' hot. But he liked them. The clerk had some too. They all shared like nice friends.

"Those are pretty good." said the Alien.
"I love these things, man!" said weed guy.
"Thank you for sharing. I'd like to take some home with me, but I don't have any human money."
"Oh dude, I just got paid I'll get them for you." said weed guy.
"That's so nice of you." said Alien.
"Hey guys, wait... They're on the house." said the clerk.
"Sweet!" said weed guy.
"This was a fun trip." said Alien.
"Safe travels!" said the weed guy and the clerk.

Then the Alien took Flamin' Hot Cheetos to another planet and invented diarrhea there.

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