The Evil Overlord Goes to the Mall

The Evil Overlord had a pointy little goatee!

"Mmm, ooh, hehehe I will rule the kingdom!!!" said The Evil Overlord, as he stroked his tiny little pointy goatee. His eye brows were pointy too. They pointed up so he looked very wizardy. They were extra black.

"Mmmehh heh heh! Soon all the goodies will be miiine!" he said.
"Yes master!" said his deformed assistant, who secretly rolled his eyes at the Evil Overlord.

The Evil Overlord and his assistant went to the shopping mall because The Evil Overlord wanted to go check out the spring line of shorts at the department store. The assistant hated it. It was so boring. The Evil Overlord had to touch every damn article of clothing. Why?

"Hmm... this could be good. This seems like it might fit me too." said The Evil Overlord. The deformed assistant waited patiently but wanted to kill himself.
"Excuse me, hun." said the Evil Overlord to the lady who worked at the department store.
"Yes?" she said.
"Do you have these in a size 34?" he said lifting up a pair of khaki shorts.
"Let me check." She said.

The deformed assistant was very annoyed because The Evil Overlord had like four pair of khaki shorts just like the ones he'd asked the girl to go check on. The Evil Overlord wound up buying more stuff. Afterwards they strolled the mall and a sassy stoner told The Evil Overlord that his pointy goatee looked stupid.

"What? No it looks cool." said The Evil Overlord.
"Nah it's like dumb and cheesy." said the sassy stoner.
"You don't know what you're talking about, I look menacing!" said The Evil Overlord.
"Your pointy eyebrows look dumb too."
"No. No they don't."
"Do you dye them?" said the sassy stoner.
"Uh..." said the Evil Overlord.
"There's just no way they are that black for how wrinkled your face is." said the sassy stoner.

The Evil Overlord went home and shaved his pointy goatee.
"You don't look very evil or menacing anymore." said the deformed assistant.