John Jiggler

John Jiggler walked into the dance house party and they were playin' the most boppin' tune and he bopped so hard to it.

"Hey don't bop here!" said the bouncing baby boy.
John Jiggler stopped. "Who do you think you are?" said John Jiggler.
"I'm the bouncing baby boy! I kick you out when you do wrong!"
"But boppin' ain't wrong." said John Jiggler.
"Too bad, I'm a baby! Now lemme see your ID." said the bouncing baby boy.

John Jiggler left and he was mad cuz he was in a boppin' mood. He sat around kicked and spit and shook his fists and he said damnit. Then he called his mommy.

"Mommy I'm so mad I can't bop. It's what I wanted to do."
"Well you have to do something else instead I guess, dear."
"Aw man, mom."
"Yep." said mom.

John Jiggler thought. Then he scratched his head too hard and his scalp kinda bled a little. Pretty gross. It wasn't too bad though, but it would sting when he shampooed later. Anyway so he thought and pouted, then his nice mommy's advice rang true.

"Yes it's time to do something else."

So he went to a jumpin' joint to dance up. He walked in and they were janglin' a tune. He started scootin' and a skittin'.

"Hey watch out for this feller he's a real bedlamite!" said the barkeep Honky Cutlass
"Yah!" said Pam the hard workin' backup dancer with a heart of silver.
"I kinda like it though. I won't stop him or nothin." said Honky.

This bar's bouncing baby boy came up and started crying. But it was cuz he needed a diaper change. Meanwhile John Jiggler was scootin' up a storm, the weather guy walked in with his news crew.

"Wow the forecast is that a storm's a comin' take cover!" said the meteorologist.

Then John Jiggler started cuttin' thru the rug and cuttin' thru the floor and thru the earth's crust toward it's core and it struck oil and everyone was like "We're rich!" then it struck lava and it burned up John Jiggler, but he didn't have to worry about the scratch on his scalp burning in the shower, then the lava came up and burned up most of the town. But historians named the town Jiggletown and maybe it was a coincidence.