The Big Firing

Big Boss Jerry walked into the office one morning and announced
"Brace yourself people. For today someone will be fired. It's the way it's got to be. Stay tuned. As you were."

Then he walked into his office and paced. He left everyone very uncomfortable.

"Oh gosh I'm scared to get fired." said John.
"I don't want it to be me." said Cynthia.
"I am afraid of losing my job. What about my home life?" said Khomela.

An hour went by and Big Boss Jerry popped his head back in.
"I'm back. In another hour or so... someone is going to get fired!"

People had started to cool down a little but this ignited their anxiety once again.

"Oh no, I need this job." said Burt.
"Well I'm gonna work extra hard so it won't be me." said Dana.
"I don't give a shit about this job, personally, but I'm scared for all you, my friends." said Mark.

Another couple of hours went by. Big Boss Jerry popped his head back again.

"Oooh I can feel the firing simmering in my bones... who will it be??!" said Big Boss Jerry. Then he disappeared again.
"Suspense is killing me." said Spencer.
"I've gotta pee, I hope I don't miss the firing and I hope it's not me." said Detroit Tommy.
"I think it's gonna be Jeff who gets fired." said Hannah.
"Hey asshole I think it's gonna be you!" said Jeff.

Jeff and Hannah then almost came to blows. But Yori broke it up.
"Guys, guys! Let's not lose our heads over this!" said Yori.

Then Big Boss Jerry walked back in.
"Alright, shitshoppers. It's showtime!" said Big Boss Jerry.

You could cut the tension like butter. Even the walls were sweating with anxiety. Everyone awaited the big reveal. Then room hung on the edges of their seats as Big Boss Jerry opened his mouth and slowly spoke.

"The person..."
"...Yes?" mumbled Fran.
"Who will be fired..."
"Uh-huh..." grunted Carol.
"Is..."
"Oh I'm scared." muttered Chet.
"...Me?" said Big Boss Jerry.

The room let out a collective gasp.
"Gasp!" they said.
This was a twist no one expected. It was silent and steamy, but the air was finally free.

Big Boss Jerry was more surprised than anyone. He cleared his throat.
"Well I guess I'll pack up my things..."
Then security walked up to escort him out.
"Oh. Well I guess my things will be mailed to me then. Good day everyone."