Little Precious Needs a Friend

Little Precious was oh so lonely and she looked at her backyard.
"Why are there no trees!?" she shouted and pouted at her yard.

She did the same thing for many days and months and weeks in a row.
"No plants to keep me company?! Boo and Hoo!" she said.

"I'm so alone. I need a friend." she lamented loudly. Little Precious was also 32 years old.

One day she ran outside and shouted again, "Still nothing?! Who will keep me company!?" Then she threw a handful of seeds at the ground. Then she forgot that she did that.

"I'm so alone!" she shouted as she ran around in her house. Then she picked up her telephone receiver, "Ring ring ring!" she shouted, "Yes it's me, who is there?" she said, "It's me!" she said back to herself, "Oh hi!" she said, enthusiastically. "Hi!" she said back, "Are you my friend?" she asked, "No!" she said back to herself. "Why not?" she said, "Because I'm nobody! Goodbye!", then she slammed the phone down and said "Dammit! That wadn't no friend calling for me, it was just me!" Then she spat on the floor. "Doesn't count!"

Then she ran around and stamped on the wood floors making clunk noises. Then she picked up a crucifix that she kept in her drawer that she kept pencils and scissors.

"Oh dear Lord almighty God in heaven who is our saint and fatherly spirit of the guiding light..."
Then she coughed real loud because she had a tickle in her throat left over from a cold that she'd had months ago, "won't you bless me with a loving friend, in whatever form that you see fit?"

The crucifix didn't respond. Little Precious got mad and threw it back in the drawer.
"I wasted my time praying just now!" she shouted. Then she went and made more clomping pouting stamping sounds that echoed through the house.
"I was gonna respond, I was just thinking." said the crucifix muffled through the drawer. She couldn't hear it over her stamping.

One day she walked outside. And saw a beautiful tree. Our Lord's earthly nature had granted her a friend, it seemed.

"A friend? For me? A tree? Hi tree!"
"Hi Little Precious." said the tree.
"You're my friend, tree. Finally. You came for me."
"Actually, you brought me here." the tree said with a loving smile.
"What?" said Little Precious.
"You threw seeds at the ground. You planted them. And now I'm here. Your loyal friend."
"You mean you're only here because I planted the seeds?!"
"Yes, but I'm still your friend." said the tree.
"You didn't come here specifically to see me??! Doesn't count!"

Then she slammed the backyard door shut, and said "Dammit!" and went back inside and stamped around until a mailman finally came and visited her, then left. Then she stamped around some more and a baby fell out of her legs. Then she was mad that the baby only was there because there was an egg in her uterus at the right time, so it didn't count as a friend.