The Catchy Tune

"Hey I got this song stuck in my head." said Buzz.
"What's the song?" asked Mandy.
"I won't tell you."
"Why not?'
"Because then it'll be stuck in your head."
"What if I like the song?" asked Mandy.
"Okay, it goes doot-doot-dee-dee-dee." sang Buzz.
"Doot-doot-dee-dee-dee." sang back Mandy.
"Yep that's that one."
"Oh no, now it's stuck in my head too."
"Oy vey, well at least we're together in this! Right?" said Buzz.
"But I don't like you like that." said Mandy.
"Oh that's not what I meant. I only like you as a friend."
"Oh oops." said Mandy
"But now my feelings are hurt because of your assumption."
"Oh, I didn't mean to assume that you wanted to be with me like that. I was just protecting myself. But I'm also a little embarrassed for jumping to conclusions." confessed Mandy.

In budged Zachard.
"Hey you two lovebirds, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. And I've got to say that, first of all, that song is now stuck in my head, doot-doot-dee-dee-dee!" he sang. "Secondly, I think you two have great chemistry. Give each other a try."
"Well I told her it was an infectious song." said Buzz.
"It definitely is." said Zachard, "Doot-doot-dee-dee-dee!" he sang.
"Hey, I don't like how you called us 'lovebirds', you should mind your own business." said Mandy.
"Yeah that makes me uncomfortable too, Zachard." said Buzz.
"Why were you listening in on our conversation, you creepo?" said Mandy.
"I wasn't listening in, you're actually a loud talker. And you're actually a loud singer." Zachard said to them, "So it was hard to ignore."
"I do talk too loud!" said Mandy.
"And I can't help but belt it out." said Buzz.
"You two really belong together." said Zachard.
"Mind your own business!" said Buzz and Mandy.

Then Zachard started singing,

"Doot-doot-dee-dee-dee!"

In walked Gludge. "Hey are you singing that doot-doot-dee-dee-dee song? I heard it from another guy walking down the street. Then I turned around and the guy's head exploded. Then I switched on the radio and it intercepted the report. And every channel started playing it, or having someone sing it." said Gludge, "I think that song might be dangerous." Then Gludge stopped what he saying and started singing "Doot-doot-dee-dee-dee." Then his head imploded like a rotting pumpkin and juices squirted out his ears.

Buzz and Mandy got scared for their lives and started kissing and having sex, consensually. But more like sensually. Zachard turned and watched like a creepo.

Then the song spread across the whole state, and people traveled and it went to other states, and spread more, because it was actually a clever mind control and population control device. Then news stories were flooded with news of this stupid song and not news of other stuff. But it also spread so far that it created peace, unison and human control. Man and womankind gave up their freewill in order to obey the catchy doot-doot-dee-dee-dee! song brain massage.

Except for Buzz and Mandy, and those who made love so much and forgot the song. Zachard also forgot the song because he stood in the corner watching. And the news people who reported on the dangers of the song had to have sex and make love on TV so they could focus on delivering the news and not sing the Doot-doot-dee-dee-dee song.

The only people who survived the great Doot-doot-dee-dee-dee mind control epidemic were perverts and pervert watchers. That's right. They had to make or watch their sick pervert sexlove right out there in public, in order to block out the catchy Doot-doot-dee-dee-dee tune.