Edgy Dan on the Go

Edgy Dan saw the world through a pair of eyes that didn't put up with no bullshit, man.

"Hey Edgy Dan, want to go get something fun to eat?" said Rubirt.
"Sure. As long as it ain't some sort of sushi! Or vegan food!"
"Ha ha, don't worry Edgy Dan, I know if I want your company it's got to be hot dogs and sodas."
"Yeah! Just keep that quinoa stuff away from me! Not interested in eating mushy sand, sorry." said Edgy Dan.
"You got it Edgy Dan!"

On the walk to the eat place Rubirt and Edgy Dan saw a tree.

"Ah isn't that tree lovely? I love nature." said Rubirt.
"You know what that tree reminds me of? Poo! Cuz we're all goin' down the toilet anyway. Sorry if you can't handle my opinions." said Edgy Dan.
"I never thought about it that way."
"Maybe I'm crazy, I just see the world differently. You can get on board or walk the plank for all I care!" said Edgy Dan.

Further down the walk Rubert and Edgy Dan saw a pretty lady with nice jeans walk by.

"Hey that one sure was a pretty one, eh?" said Rubirt.
"Look but don't touch if ya ask me." said Edgy Dan.
"Oh? Why do you say that?" asked Rubirt.
"Marriage and relationships are great, if you like havin' an ucler!"

Another pretty lady walked by. This one looked extra pretty in her blouse.

"You got to admit that she was pretty good looking!"
"Alright alright, fine. I wouldn't kick her out of the hospital bed... Cuz my legs would be broken and I couldn't kick! And I'd need her to be the nurse who takes care a me!" said Edgy Dan.
"Wow Edgy Dan, you know a man can be a nurse too. Not all women have to be nurses. Women can be doctors too." said Rubirt.
"Hey listen, if you think you're gonna get some sort of P.C. crappola outta me then you are mistaken as a blind man in the ladies room!"

Just then a pretty lady walked up and say hi to Edgy Dan.

"I like your leather coat that has elastic cuffs and waistband." she said.
"Oh. Thanks." said Edgy Dan. He was taken aback because she was pretty.

Edgy Dan went on to marry this pretty lady and she controlled him thoroughly. He always combed his hair, wore a clean sweater, and never spouted an edgy opinion again.