The Wipe

Snoobert was a man who put stuff off. One day he got a lot of it done. The only thing left was that damn smudge on the window.

"Aren't you gonna wipe me off?" said the smudge.
"Yes!" said Snoobert.... "of course I'm gonna wipe you off."

Then Snoobert took a seat in a chair and cleared his throat.

"I'm real smudgy lookin." said the smudge.
"I know that! You think I don't know that?" said Snoobert.
"Well do you like me being here?" said the smudge.
"Of course I don't. I wish you were wiped right off!"
"Well you hold the power to wipe me."
"I know."
"So... are you gonna?"
"Yes, I'm gonna."
"Wet napkins are in the cabinet under the sink."
"I know where they are. I put them there." said Snoobert.

Then Snoobert walked over to the cabinet. His palms got sweaty. He started to feel panicked.

"That's right. Wipe me down. Get those wet wipes, Snoobert. Do your human duty and wipe me!" said the smudge.
"Uhhh... I have to go eat something I just remembered I'm famished!" said Snoobert.

Then Snoobert made a sandwich and turned his back to the smudge.

"Mmm this sandwich is good. So glad I am eating lunch. Lunch is important to eat for many reasons." said Snoobert, as he sat at his table eating.

The sandwich fixings, cutting board, and bag of bread stared at him eating the sandwich.

"Snooobert... Are you going to put us away?" they said. Snoobert put the sandwich down.
"Uh... I have get the smudge wiped up." said Snoobert.
"Yesss!" said the smudge.

Snoobert grabbed the wet wipes and approached the window.

"That's it. Wipe me. Wipe me real good. Wipe me off, wipe me fast, and wipe me hard!! Then when you're done, don't forget to put away the sandwich fi--"

And the smudge was gone.

Snoobert was relieved. And no longer hungry.

"Snooobert aren't you going to put us away?!?" said the fixings.
"Snoobert, aren't you going to finish eating me?" said the rest of the sandwich.
"If you don't put us away we'll go baaaad!" said the fixings.
"Either finish me or put me in the fridge and save me for later! Don't you think I'd make a great late snack?!" said the sandwich part.
"Put us away, put us away, put us away!" they all said.

Snoobert gripped both sides of his scalp and had a panic attack.