Do Not Read This

John Yawn yawned after he caught a poison-yawn from Yolanda. Yolanda was a regular lady but she was also a witch. She yawned in John's direction to cause him to yawn. John Yawn fell for Yolanda. They got married and became John and Yolanda Yawn.

Yolanda and John had a spawn. They didn't know what to name him. People suggested things like, Todd and Claude and Maude and Shawn and Marlon and Dawn and Raekwon. Yolanda and John settled on Yon. Yon Yawn was born and bored those around him. He met a man named Juan and fawned over Juan, but Yon's fawns bored Juan because Yon had the stink of a poison-yawn. Also Juan's limited English made it hard to respond.

"I have feelings for you." said Yon.
Everything Yon Yawn said caused Juan's thoughts to wander.

"Why don't you respond?" asked Yon.

The other big reason was that Yon just kept going on, and on, and on, and on, and on.

Juan sat there dozing off. Juan had contracted Yon's mom's poison-yawn from Yon. Before anyone knew it, Juan let out a big long yawn. This Juan-yawn caused Yon to yawn. Yon had caught his own dad and mom's poison-yawn.

Meanwhile at the Yawn home. Yolanda Yawn sat at home and yawned.

Yolanda's poison-yawn had spread through town. It was like she waved a magic wand. Even God looked down on the town and caught the poison-yawn.

"I'm so sleepy I can't tell the difference between dusk or dawn." said God.

John Yawn knew something was wrong. He walked out on the lawn. There was a woman on the lawn letting out a long yawn. John walked past his lawn and saw everyone on the street was gone. They were almost all sitting and sleeping at home cursed with the poison-yawn. Yolanda's con had gone on too long. John Yawn and to break free and become more than a pawn. Falling for Yolanda made John feel like a moron. The world and God had been infected, and it was the fault of John Yawn.

"I have to change my name from John Ya--" he caug--he catched himself!
"I'm changing my name to John Yeeeeee!" he screamed.

John Yeeeeee! set out to save the world and was very careful about what he said and how he said it. He didn't want to drone... about, drone about, yeah.. He could not even tell his tale, for the tale itself would infect people with the poison-... well, you know.

John Yeeeee! stayed energetic, noisy and spoke in a high-pitched voice for the rest of his life. It was the least John Yeeeeee! could do.