Li the Master

Li the Kung Fu Master was an untouchable force. He could float with the wind. He could balance on a feather. He could best a gaggle of men. He could bring his force through a structure. His physical concentration was unmatched.

"Please teach me, Li." said student. Li taught. Student learned. One day Li had to do his taxes.

"Oh fuck. This is hard." said Li.

Li called the IRS because he needed a transcript of the jobs he worked. Because Li was used to working multiple odd jobs and living check to check. He didn't really keep track of where he worked. So the checks came from many different places.

"I'm so frustrated." said Li, to the automated system. Then he hung up. "Fuck this." he said.

Then he went on about his business being a Kung Fu Master. For like a year. He never consulted an accountant. He just kept paying his rent. Notifications piled up that he needed to take care of stuff.

Then one day five guys from the IRS came to Li's door. He kicked one, swept one, punch another, flipped another and death stared another. Then he didn't have to pay taxes. He didn't have a ton of money anyway.

"Phew that was lucky of me." said Li.
"Oooh we are in such pain." said the IRS bad guys.
"Shut up or I'll do worse ha ha." said Li.
"Hey turns out you're mean." said the hurting IRS guys.
"The power I yield feels good." said Li.

Then the lights went out.
"Oh no, I forgot to pay the electric. It's so hard. I can't figure out how to take care of that!" said Li. Then his Kung Fu rivals showed up and fought him in the dark. Li beat them. He ran outside because they were after him, all of them. He hoped in his car, started it up and prepared to hit the road. His car wouldn't move. He looked at his tires. There was a boot on his car.

"Fuck. I got to take care of those tickets." said Li.

Then Li called his mom and asked what to do.