Pugger's Brooding Darkness

Pugger was soooo cool. He was the coolest. He was like Mr. Cool.

"Whoa Pugger I love you and everything about you. Your boots, your black jacket, your boney knuckles, your gruffy and soothing singing voice, and your head." said Pugger fanatic #1.
"Hey, hey, cool. Glad you dig the head." said Pugger.

Pugger had a cool head. He shaved it and it made him look extra tough. And cool. It complemented everything else that was cool about it. The shaved bald head tied it all together.

"Pugger I wanna jump ya, honey!" said Tanya the Vixen.
"I'll check my sched, babe." said Pugger as he walked past Tanya.

The early evening moonlight glistened off his bald shaved head and everyone shivered over how cool he looked. Maybe it was just his bone structure or cheeks. All the sudden, Pugger spun around toward the people he had just passed by and did a cool finger pointing gesture as he landed. It was real cool.

"Holy sugar cubes!" said Betty the Scragglehead.
"Oh my meat feet!!" said Gertrude the Prude.
"Gimme gimme some of that shimmy!" said Judith the Brutith.
"Honk honk honey money!" said Pugger fanatic #2.

Pugger kept walkin'. He passed a mysterious bush and got a bad feeling from it.

"Psst. Pugger." said a somethin'.
"Huh?" said Pugger. Man he looked handsome and cool.
"Psst... Pugger. Here. Guess what?"
"Huh? What?" said Pugger out into the open. The voice was coming from behind the mysterious bush.

"Pugger... Guess what... already!" said the whisper voice.
"What?!" said Pugger.
"You know how you have that cool bald shaved head?"
"Yeah. So, what about it? Why you bring it up?"
"Everyone loves it don't they?"
"They do."
"And you like how everyone loves it, right?"
"Yah. I do."
"People find it effortless on your end. Makes you out to be kind of a hero."
"What's your point buddy?"
"Be a shame if someone somehow thought maybe that wasn't totally who you are."
"Who are you?" said Pugger, getting a little nervous.
"If you must know, I'm a person from you past... who happens to remember something."
"What?!" said Pugger, "Quit playing games!"
"...A fella who happens to remember... when you had a haircut... And the haircut... was dorky!"
"Who are you?" I'm through playing games!" shouted Pugger.

Jim the Goof walked by, "Hey Pugger, everything okay here?"
"Sure yeah of course of course just thinking of candy and shouting a thing." said Pugger.

Jim walked off. Pugger didn't want anyone to know that he once had a dork lookin' haircut. This was a desperate moment. Pugger walked into the bush and found the guy who was threatening him. Then he murdered him and no one knew about it and "Phew" everything was okay and he stayed the guy they thought of as Mr. Cool.