Sunday, July 22, 2007

Hmmm maybe I was wrong.

So I guess I don't have the energy or time to thoughtfully write "reviews" of every movie I watch, in the very articulate & professional way I did for Harry Potter. I guess I just watch too many movies to keep up. But here's the movies I've watched in the past couple days.

The Match Factory Girl - directed by Aki Kaurismäki

This movie's short & great & sad & he does seemingly so little & I so enjoy watching his films. This one is about a lonely girl who works in a factory of some sort... can't quite remember what kind-but anyway, she is looking for love or company & then she find someone for a second & he turns out to be a real jerk. I can see how that might be frustrating for a character looking for love in a Kaurismaki movie, because everyone is so reserved & not used to showing emotion, that upon first meeting you'd have no way of knowing if the person is a real jerk or a big sweetheart. Let me just say I love his movies. I just saw a new movie of his at the Nuart last week. "Lights in the Dusk". I've never met a Finnish person, except for the only other person in the theatre who went to see "Lights in the Dusk". If I were to size up Finnish people from watching his movies I would guess that they use a brevity of words & they'll continue to allow painful things to build up w/o much reaction until eventually they burst. But even when they eventually burst, they don't burst that big. The woman in the theatre didn't not-burst-big on me though. She seemed nice. She was "Finnish" & she looked it. Like the people in his movies. Like the lead actress in Match Factory Girl who makes appearances in many of his films.

The Salvation Hunters - directed by Josef von Sternberg

This was Von Sternberg's first feature film. Silent. I've never seen another one. I better get to work. I don't know a lot about his films except for what I read prior to watching this one. He's a hot shot. He probably had a bit of an ego--believes the director is the main main cheese & don't fuck w/ the director & the director gonna make this movie so get out the director's way! The shots in this movie were very well composed & it was interesting watching this back to back w/ the Kaurismaki movies because Kaurismaki's films are a lot like silent films (he actually made a totally silent film--I haven't watched it yet). Anyway, yah. I noticed a lot of similarities. There was this amazingly staged scene in the beginning of Salvation Hunters that takes place on top of this mud dock thing & this crane keeps swinging by & dumping mud on the people. Anyway, there's a part where this kid's getting his ass kicked by this mean dood & then this main character is watching it happen w/ this hot babe (Georgia Hale, who would go on to star in Chaplin's "The Gold Rush") & they're just standing there watching coldly in this handsomely composed still shot. And addressing the main dood, Georgia Hale's character goes "Coward." It was so simple & a little absurd & it felt like something out of a Kaurismaki film. Also, both this picture & "Match Factory Girl" are only a little over one hour in length. Oh yeah & the movie is about being poor. Chaplin supposedly championed the film then withdrew his championing of because he was scared...or something. I don't know.

Suspiria - directed by Dario Argento

I went to see this last night at the Cemetery Screening. I met Julie & Leone there. I haven't seen Julie in like so long, we went to Carver Middle School & Booker T. Washington High School! Anyway it was a lotta fun. Suspiria is one of those awesome horror movies that I've probably see like seriously 15 times & I'm still not really sure exactly what it's about completely & I probably tune out a little bit each time I watch it, but I'd always be down to watch it. It's got so much good stuff going for it. & it was particularly awesome to see it on the big screen...I mean mausoleum...projected.

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown - directed by J. Lee Thompson

Bronson's back again. In the first three movies, his vigilante character Paul Kersey takes on punks & scummy bad guys, in this one, he's got a new itch to scratch: DRUGS! That's right, Kersey gets hired as a hitman by a rich guy to set up the 2 different mob bosses & get them dueling w/ eachother because those mob bosses run the drug rings that circulated from the factories to the dealers & made their way to the nose of the daughter of the woman that Bronson's dating...BIG mistake! This movie is totally krappy but I didn't get bored watching it. The first Death Wish movie I'd describe as "fucking good!". Death Wish II is "solid for what it is". Death Wish 3 is "a masterpiece". This one is "krappy & sloppy but has some awesome stuff." Bronson's getting older & feels more like a grandpa at this point, but still seems like he'd be fun to hang around. He's got some good catchphrases/one-liners. In one scene he gets caught snooping around a bad guy's apartment & he's hiding in the kitchen & the bad guy's like "come out!" & Bronson comes out w/ his hands up & the bad guy's like "what the hell are you doing here?" & Bronson goes "I'm makin' a sandwich." then he smashes the guy in the face or knocks something over or something awesome like that. The absolutel highlight of the movie for me was the climactic scene which takes place in a rollerskating rink. This was of particular excitement for me because I recognized this rollerskating rink as one that I went to, "World on Wheels", like seriously a couple weeks ago! I flipped out, it was definitely the same one. Then they go outside & (MAYBE A SPOILER--BUT SERIOUSLY WHO CARES!) the main bad guy, who was the rich guy that initially hired Bronson but was actually just a really mean bad guy who happened to do a great impression of a rich guy, has Bronson's girlfriend hostage & he's all like "i'll kill her!" then he does kill her & this pisses Bronson off so hard that Bronson shots a rocket at bad guy & makes bad guy explode real big & awesome. It ruled. But to be real for a second, it was sad because Paul Kersey walks off w/o any visible emotion & you know after all these years of killing, & having his wife raped & murdered, his retarded daughter raped & murdered as well, being pushed to the limit, trying to protect what you care about because no one else will, & now being betrayed by someone he quasi-trusted, it is clear that Kersey has no one. A sad life.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

New Theme...maybe. (Harry Potter)

From now on I am blogging about movies I watch. I watch them like everyday, if I can. & Hey! I'm not Leonard Maltin so don't expect me to write reviews all fancy & thought out. You hear me Maltin!? I'm comin' for you! You fuckin' swine! You sick sick pervert. You may have seen more "Goofy" cartoons than me, but I've got more fury in my fist than you!

So tonight, I went to go see the new Harry Potter picture.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Yes, this one is called Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, & I only know that because I just checked the title on IMDB. I generally find all the Harry Potter films entertaining when I watch them, & then relatively disposable. No offense, Potter enthusiasts, they just don't sink in so hard. This one was no different for me. It was pretty good, though. I liked it.

This one's about how the Hoghouse school is getting shitty because this old fancy Christian Republican bitch keeps trying take over the school & she's like in the Wizard Illuminati. Even Dumbledaggle hates her. Dumbledorf is a fuckin' badass in this movie, I wish there had been more of him. Yeah I wish there'd been more fighting & action packed stuff. I liked it though. I never got bored. Sometimes I get confused because I don't know what they're talking about w/ all the "Valdaball! Expeliarmus! Dumbledingledoo!" Also, I saw this IMAX & we were sitting in the front so I had to move my head around to try to take in everything onscreen. Oh yeah, the climactic final 20 minutes are in 3-D when you see it IMAX! That was cool. ...Probably coulda been more wands pointing my face though... & I think my colorblindness affects the way I see 3-D. Maybe I can go to the eye-doctor & ask him to give me prescription 3-D glasses to correct my colorblindness when I see all the 3-D movies that get released.

On another note, from about 2001 to 2005 I pretty much couldn't escape accusations of being Harry Potter. I even changed my appearance to try to avoid it. New glasses, longer hair, gaining 200 lbs. I never thought I looked like him, but many ESL vendors & restaurant workers were convinced I was Daniel Radcliffe, or just "Harry Potter." It is nice to see that Mr. Radcliffe adolescent puberty face has blown up a little bit so that I can resume my identity.

I saw this w/ Louise & Daphne. We had fun!

Here's the shitty poster they could have tried harder on.

ps oh yeah today is my birthday & I'm working at the Silent Movie Theatre tonight. So I'll be watching Josef Von Sternberg's first film "The Salvation Hunters".