Thursday, November 20, 2014

Cheese Goes Away

Blandorf had a big pile of cheese. He was so proud of it.
"Hey." said Vulvo.
"What?" said Blandorf.
"Can have a cheese?"
"This cheese is in a pretty good place. I don't know if I want to mess with it."
"Ahh I don't know. You're really pressuring me to mess with this cheese, and I really like how it is right now." said Blandorf.

All the sudden The Weather Channel came on.
"It's expected to get really hot in a couple of minutes." said the weather man.

"Hey, did you hear that?" said Vulvo.
"Yeah what about it?" said Blandorf.
"Well it's gonna get hot."
"Yeah so?"
"So your cheese is gonna melt. Because it will be hot."
"Oh shoot well let's turn on the AC. Quick."
"We should just eat it."

The Weather Channel came on again.
"It's going to be really hot, turning on your AC will only help a little bit." said the weather man.

"AC won't help! C'mon let's let the cheeses melt. It'll be fun!" said Vulvo.
"But the cheese is perfect now!" said Blandorf, with maniacal eyes.
"It wasn't meant to stay that way! said Vulvo.
"It can be preserved!" blurted Blandorf.
"The cheese was meant to evolve."
"The cheese must stay how it is!"
"There's more cheese!" said Vulvo.
"Help me save my cheese!" said Blandorf.
"Cheese is fleeting, man." said Vulvo.

Blandorf shoved Vulvo and stood in front of his cheese, guarding it. Vulvo fell to the ground.

"What happens when you die? You think someone's gonna take care of your cheese? It's gonna melt, rot or get eaten!" said Vulvo.

Blandorf had real control issues.
"I guess that's just some real precious cheese." said Vulvo.

All the sudden it got real hot.

The cheese melted and it made a cheesy stringy blanket of thick white and yellow cheese. It looked like it was alive and going to engulf Vulvo and Blandorf.

Vulvo took a bite and pretended the cheese was a monster swallowing him.
"Oh no save me, he he." said Vulvo, jokingly.
Blandorf was so upset.
"That wasn't your cheese to take a bite of." said Blandorf.

Then a bunch of cows showed up.
"The cheese isn't actually yours to claim, Blandorf. You should have eaten it when you had a chance. Now your chance is over."
"Who are you?"
"We're Jesus Cows, from heaven!"
"What do you guys do?" asked Vulvo.
"We teach people good lessons. From heaven!"
"Not me ya don't!" said Blandorf.

Blandorf was wearing a red sweater because it was almost Christmas time. A bull was standing across the street and he was looking at Blandorf through the window. The bull got real mad because of Blandorf's red sweater, so he charged Blandorf and bull dozed through the house and window, stamping all over Blandorf and the melted cheese blob.

"Whoa that was scary." said Vulvo.

Then the bull saw the leader of the Jesus Cows from heaven and fell in love. He made love to the cow and they had a bunch of little cows. One of them went on to be very successful and attended cow college and invented College Cheese.

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