Tuesday, November 25, 2014


Scary Jerry woke up one morning, turned to his Big Wifey and said
"I want dinner!"
"It's breakfast time!" she said.
"But I want dinner." 
"You just had it a few hours ago."
"I want it again."
"Well I ain't makin' it for you."
"Please!" said Scary Jerry.
"Okay," said Big Wifey, "but first I got to go to work."
"Oh boy!" said Scary Jerry.

Then Big Wifey left the house for work. She would not return until later in the day. Scary Jerry realized that Big Wifey had tricked him. She wasn't going to make him dinner this morning. She was going to go to work, go about her day, then come home and make him dinner at dinner time.

"Damnit!" said Scary Jerry. 

He walked around his house.
"Someone should make me some corn, and roasted chicken, and potatoes!" he said. "That's dinner food!" he continued.

He went around town to scare some people.

A kid came walking up the street. 
"Hi Mister." said the kid.
"Rahhh!" said Scary Jerry.
"Ahhh!" said the kid, and he ran away.

Scary Jerry went to the car shop where Big Wifey worked.

"This car's real good. The motor is tough like a horse with lots of power." said Big Wifey to a man listening.
"Okay, okay, I like the sound of that. Tell me more."
"Rahh!" said Scary Jerry as he jumped out to frighten the man.
"Ahh!" and the man ran away.
"Hey." said Big Wifey.
"Hi!" said Scary Jerry.
"I was workin' that guy good." said Big Wifey.
"Well where's my dinner?!"
"Go home and figure out how to make some dinner! In fact, if you don't go home and have some dinner ready for me by the time I get back home I'm gonna pulverize you." said Big Wifey.
"Uh oh." said Scary Jerry.

Big Wifey was the only one who was tougher than Scary Jerry. He immediately transformed into Wimpy Jerry.

"Ha ha ha. Now beat it, wimp!" said Big Wifey.
"Okay, what ever you say don't hurt me." said Wimpy Jerry.

Wimpy Jerry kept his head down, his shoulders slumped, and his bottom tightened. He took tiny fast steps on his way home. He had no idea how to make dinner for Big Wifey but he knew he had to get home to figure it out.

On his way home the little kid walked up to him and said "Rahh!"
Wimpy Jerry got scared and responded with an "Ahh!", then he scampered all the way home. Like a little wimp.

Wimpy Jerry got home and made himself a crappy dinner. It tasted bad. He wasn't good at making dinner. Then Big Wifey came home and made dinner for the both of them. Wimpy Jerry wasn't that hungry because he'd already eaten crappy dinner. But he was too wimpy and scared to tell Big Wifey he wasn't hungry. So he ate it anyway. He should have just eaten breakfast in the morning that way he would have enjoyed the better dinner.

A few days later Wimpy Jerry forgot he was a wimp and went back to being Scary Jerry until Big Wifey turned him into Wimpy Jerry again.

Marriage, am I right?!

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