Saturday, November 8, 2014

Weezo Fatser Needs a Sandwich

Weezo Fatser wanted a sandwich and he couldn't find one anywhere. Grimpy Devo was a devious sneaky fellow with a black pointy goatee.

"Whurs a sandwich I keep try find one and I can't!" said Weezo.
"Psst, Weezo! Over here. I can tells ya where a sandwich is." said Grimpy Devo, from behind a bush across the street.

Weezo stumble dumbled across the street. Cars honked at him. He made it to the bush.

"Where da sandwich?!" said Weezo.
"Psst, Weezo! Right this way. It's in here!" whispered Grimpy Devo, over by the building with no AC.

Weezo followed Grimpy into the building with no AC. It was a hot day, and Weezo needed that AC. He also needed that sandwich.

"This way, this way, hehe." said Grimpy, as he walked on his toes, with quick pointy steps.
"Okay, I coming." panted Weezo as he lumbered through the stuffy building. Weezo was breaking a drippy sweat. "Hehhh, eeee, heh.." he wheezed, a little.

Weezo made it to the end of the building and wound up back outside in the day heat again, schvitzing with greasy squeaky schmutz from his body, no sandwich to nosh! And now he was wheezing hard. "Eeee, hehhh, eeee, hehhh."

"Just up over here!" shouted Grimpy from the top of the hill.
Weezo looked up. "Eeee, heeeehh, eeee, heehh. Can you bwing it to me?"
"Hurry hurry before it's gone, hehe!" shouted Grimpy, as he trotted up the hill.
"Eeeee, hehhh, eeeee. Okay." he wheezed, then made for his wheezy journey uphill.

Weezo was almost to the top of the hill. "Eeeeeeeee, hhhhhheh. E-e-e-e-eeee, hhhehhhh." And then he toppled over and rolled to a big rock that stopped him from rolling all the way downhill. Grimpy danced back down, and over to him.

"Weezo! Don't you want that yummy sandwich?" he said, with a motive of what seemed like some devious plan. What was he going to do? Really give him a sandwich? Bop Weezo on the head? Tease Weezo for being so wheezy and not give him a sandwich? But then, Weezo opened his eyes, lifted his head, and spoke.

"Oh no, heeeee, hehhhh. I don't need to look further for a sandwich." he said, widening his eyes.
"Oh no?" said Grimpy, curiously. This was an unexpected hiccup in Grimpy's questionable plan.
"That's right. I've got my eyes on all the sandwich I need." said Weezo, "I know you've been working for the devil, Grimpy Devo." he continued.
"What!? How?! I kept it secret real good." said Grimpy.
"Because I'm a gumshoe for God, hired to snuff you out.
"You mean this whole thing was a setup?" said Grimpy.
"Yes." said Weezo.
"You mean, I was trying to set you up, but the whole time, you were setting me up?"
"Yes." said Weezo.
"I thought it was too good to be true that you were standing there when you were, and that you were so easily persuaded to follow me to eat a sandwich." said Grimpy.
"Grimpy, now I'm going to eat you, per God's instruction. Ha ha ha, hehhh, eeeeee." he said, laughed and wheezed.
"No, don't eat me, I was just trying to do a job for the Devil, I have a family, noooo." said Grimpy.

Weezo's eyes turned black and his teeth grew sharp. His jaw unhinged and stretched real big. His head and lips wrapped about Grimpy's neck and shoulders, and swallowed him, like how snakes eat stuff, and you can see the outline of it in their snake body.

Weezo chased it with two pieces of bread.
"Good sandwich," said Weezo, "thanks God." Then he said a little prayer and went back to acting like the Weezo Fatser we all thought he was.

No comments: