Thursday, October 16, 2014

Chippy the Artist

Chippy loved to make great beautiful pieces of art that were made out of smooshed potatoes.
"Hey look." Chippy would show someone.
"Ooh that's good, Chippy."
"I knew it." Chippy would say.

Chippy was a person, but no one knew if Chippy was a boy or a girl. I guess Chippy thought it was no one else's business. So Chippy wore a giant dark cloak all the time, regardless of the weather, and spoke in a grumbly voice that disguised Chippy's gender.

Chippy went to the place where Chippy usually went to make and display Chippy's potato art. Chippy felt creatively blocked. Chippy felt stressed about it.

Chippy went home and paced around, trying to figure out what to do with smooshed potatoes that might get a big reaction. Chippy removed the cloak she wore. --I say she because she did kind of look like a girl, by the way. Yeah. I think Chippy was a girl. Anyway, she clipped her nails. Suddenly, she had a potato idea! She threw her cloak and hood back on, and went back to the potato place.

"Hey guys, watch my idea." Chippy said, in the grumbly gravel voice again. --Actually, now I'm not so sure Chippy's a girl, that last gravel voice was pretty androgynous sounding.
"Ooh it's good potato art." said others.

The next week Chippy was out of ideas. Chippy went home. In private. Chippy took off the cloak. --You know what? I'm pretty sure Chippy is a girl.

She brainstormed and got frustrated. Then she decided, to hell with it. She cut off her hair and made it short. There! Boom! Pop! She had an idea! --You know, now that I think about it, Chippy with short hair really made her look like a boy. I guess Chippy probably was a boy.

Anyway, Chippy went and made another piece of potato art.
"We think it's good!" said the people who saw it.

Next week, Chippy is blocked again. Damnit. Chippy went home again. Dang. Chippy clipped more nails. Didn't work. Chippy cut more hair. No ideas. Then Chippy cut... himself.

He bled. It hurt. But... he had an idea.

"We like it." said the some of the people.
"Hey, you know this Chippy sure is mysterious. I don't even know Chippy's gender." said another person, --even though you and I both know Chippy is a boy.

Next week, Chippy's in trouble again. Idealess. Chippy looked in the mirror. Cloakless. --Definitely a boy. Chippy balled a fist out of his fingers. He started whapping himself in the face with it. Ouch! Why? Is an idea really worth it? He bruised his face and bloodied his nose. But he got an idea!

And you know, when that red blood came out of his nose, it trickled down to his big round lips and looked like lipstick. --I've got to tell you, Chippy made a pretty convincing woman with those lips. I think, actually, Chippy's been a girl the whole time, actually.

The trouble with potato ideas continued. The next week Chippy was mean to other people, this made Chippy feel bad about himherself. The following week Chippy drank drugs and became addicted.

Chippy's potato art got better, better and popularer.
"How does Chippy keep coming up with ideas for potatoes?" said the public.
Chippy worried the same question. Chippy's attitude got worser and worser.
"Hey Chippy, you a boy or a girl?" asked gossipers.
"Hey Chippy, I'm a fan how do you make potato mush art so good?" said fans.
"Hay Chippy, what's your secret?" said an invasive Magazina.
"My secret is 'you're a fuck face'." said Chippy, then Chippy spit at the Magazina. "Spit."

The art world was shocked. Chippy was running out of ideas for doing things to get ideas.
"I'm gonna walk into traffic, everyone! That's my latest and greatest idea idea." Grumbled a drunken Chippy.
"No don't do it, Chippy!" shouted a fan.
"Shhh! Allow Chippy Chippy's process. You want to see great potato art, don't you?" said another fan.

Chippy got hit by a car, didn't die, and made a great potato smoosh. It was a potato sculpture in the shape of an idea! Everyone was impressed. Except one guy who didn't know anything about art.

"Hey, stop wasting potatoes! I wanna eat that stuff." said the guy.

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