Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Sludgy Smudge in a Slump

Sludgy Smudge Jr. was melting. He was a blobby sludge who sludged through his sludge world. Sludges before him strived to ooze everywhere, all over, glupping and glopping any slop spot they saw. But Sludgy Smudge Jr. was unmotivated. Unlike his dad, who was a sludgy guy of the highest degree.

"Smurgle gurgle glurg lurg lurg." other sludges would say to Sludgy Smudge Jr., about his dad.
"Shmlurge." he'd say, which clearly indicated the pressure he felt to live up to him.

Sludges would seep into things, grossing people out. Sludges would pollute the fine quality of things.

"Oh dear, steer clear!" said a man to his beautiful wife with combed hair, when a puddle, a wad, or a waddle of pud, was near in the form of any type of sludge.

When it was hot sludges would liquify and dribble and ooze into one another. Sometimes one sludge would ooze into another curvy smudge with lipstick and create this bubbly, cruddly, cigarette-ash-banana-garbage smelling sludge. It was pretty sensual in a sludgy sense. That's when it was party time.

Mostly sludge was slippery around the sludgier parts of town.

One famous sludge, Gludge Smudgeworth, made history by sitting on a taxicab's tire and splattering on a pretty lady's dress during snow time. He was regarded highly, because many a sludge had not thought to do that. Sludgeworld people made him a statue of sludge, it melted.

Other sludges, like Smill Slubbins, were straight up phony sludgemuckers, who absorbed the ideals of sklucky sludges that scame before them. They blobbed around sponging sludge antics of sludge heroes, thieving the finest guzzy goo gloppers imaginable, slopping them off as their own, to sludgy celebration.
"Oh glooby dooby dooby.." Smill glurped, posing to be so humble and smumble, to the adoration of sludges everywhere.

Sludgy Smudge Jr. resented these sludges the most. They were the smoste regarbled, and that made him smick. So smick that he scouldn't scontinue. Slubbins had everyone fooled and Smudgy was alone.

He wanted and slawnted revenge, but what could he do? There was no sleame team big enough to asslemble that would take on the challenge of smaking down beloved Smill Slubbins. Smaybe Sludgy sneeded a slattitude ajustment?

Sludgy dribbled down a curb.
"Your dad slurr is great!" said a random sludge named Smurd.
"Sank goo." said Sludgy.
"Slime a big fan of your dad too." said asnother voice.
Sludgy looked up. It was snon other than Smill Slubbins.
Rather than scrowing scratitude, or even faux-politeness, Sludgy just oozed on by. Sludgy was too negative, some might say, but Sludgy was on death's door, so he didn't care.

Sludgy oozed up to the top of a building. He was gonna slowly ooze off the roof to his sludgy demise, ending it all. He took his big drip. It was slow thoughtful goo drop, down a long ride.

Rather than a sudden splat, he landed in the building ledge's rain drain, and guggled his sluggly smud down to the end of the dripper. This was the most patient spewicide in the history of sludge.

"Please Dear Glob, end it now!" he prayed.

He dangled and jiggled like a piece of jello, or a convenience store children's play goo toy, for what sleemed like hours, watching people scum and go.

After waiting for his demise he became more cognizant of things beyond himself. He noticed beneath him, at the bottom of the drop, was a fine and prestigious outdoor dining eslablishment. Sludgy became excited. He suddenly had a slurpose in this world.

"Splop!" he said with a splatter, onto a platter, of people-food, that had just slerved to some speople who'd splurged on krappetizers and red swine.

"Blreeeee!!" said Sludgy. He finally had purpose, and purple pus. It was the screatest day of his life.
"Diiiiiiiisgusting!" said the dining man, "Waiter!" he shouted, "I'm sorry, but there's sludge in this food. I shall recommend that this establish receive the lowest rating possible."

Sludgy Smudge Jr. was overwrought with sluclomplishment. He had sludged this man's nice meal in the sludgiest way and earned his sludgy throne.
"Phluck you, Dad and Smill Slubbins!" he gurbled. Then he died happy.

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