Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Eager Lisa's Ridiculous Aunt

"Does anyone wanna see my impression of my ridiculous aunt?" said Eager Lisa. She was at a party where lots of people were doing their very popular impressions of their ridiculous aunts.


No one wanted to see Eager Lisa's aunt impression. She walked toward the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom she passed some popular people at the party doing their impressions of their aunts and getting their backs patted on for doing these impressions.

"Haaa! Ha ha ha!" forced out Lisa, to let them know she enjoyed their aunt impressions. She wanted to get on their good sides so they'd like her aunt impression too. She didn't really think theirs were better than hers. No one noticed regardless. She was upset.

Eager Lisa got into the bathroom. She locked the door. She looked in the mirror, sadness and longing in her eyes. Then she snapped into her ridiculous aunt impression.

"You wown't s'moar p'tayta salid?!" she said in a boisterous loud voice, while pushing out her lips. She put her hands in her hair and pulled it up to make herself look funnier. She said it again.

"You wown't s'moar p'tayta salid!?!"

Lisa waddled her neck, and shook her tush, "You wown't s'moar p'tayta salid?!"

She tried splashing drippy water on her face and saying it louder, "You wown't s'MOAR p'tayta salid?!"

It was no use. Her ridiculous aunt impression was just not funny.

"Knock knock knock" said a knock at the door.
"Deedya fall in!?" said a partygoer at the door in a ridiculous aunt voice.
"Ha ha ha ha!" said other people outside the bathroom, in response to the line about falling in.
"Haa haa!!" overcompensated Lisa, from inside the bathroom, to let them know she was in on the joke too.

Lisa just stood there, holding handfuls of her hair up, water dripping from her face, nothing to contribute, as they knocked and spoke in strange aunt impression voices.

She went home unnoticed. She read her aunt impression bible which she had spent much money on:

She who can perform the finest impression of her ridiculous aunt shall receive all the keys to all the status kingdoms...

She did not understand it. She went to visit her aunt. She was even more saddened to realize that her aunt was not that ridiculous. She did not know where she came up with such an inaccurate impression of her aunt. She didn't even enjoy doing the impression.

Eager Lisa started selling real estate. Because she was so eager she sold a lot and became successful. She met a boring, handsome, to her, husband. She would sometimes do impressions of ridiculous aunts. He would be amused, but mostly because he loved her.

"Hey have you ever thought of doing that impression of a ridiculous aunt for other people?" he asked one day.
"Nope." she responded. But then she turned and winked to all her imaginary party fans.

No comments: