Sunday, September 14, 2014

Anxious Anita vs. Relaxed Rita

Anxious Anita and Relaxed Rita grew up together and were friends. Relaxed Rita got real popular and successful and Anxious Anita was like "Mmm, I hate Rita, she stinks." Relaxed Rita was so popular she didn't hear Anxious Anita say that.

One day Relaxed Rita saw Anita.
"Oh hi Anita." said Relaxed Rita.
"Rita? Is that you?" said Anxious Anita even though she knew it was Relaxed Rita.
"Yep." said Relaxed Rita.
"It's been so long what the hell you been up to?" said Anxious Anita, even though Anita knew what Rita had been up to.
"You know, just doing my thing. You?"
"Me? Been so busy workin' on a thing. Working on other things too. You wouldn't believe it. Lot of projects." said Anxious Anita, in her most convincing cadence.
"Great to hear." said Relaxed Rita.
"Tell me more. Did I hear you were working with Important Terry?"
"Yeah, yeah, Terry and I worked on a thing." said Relaxed Rita.
Anxious Anita was a big admirer of Important Terry and was very interested in everything she made.
"Ah, well Important Terry is kind of old news right?" said Anxious Anita.
"No, Important Terry is actually about to have a big thing happen. She asked me if I wanted to help, but I'm workin' on this thing of my own so I said no." said Relaxed Rita.
"Oh." said Anita.

Anita held a blank face on her face. She thought about how she wished Terry had asked her to help. Anxiety, jealousy and rage boiled in a hot crockpot behind Anxious Anita's face. A tiny furious vein on Anxious Anita's eyelid pulsated. If you were looking at her eyelid you might notice.

"Well Anita, great to see you, I have to go leave now."
"Oh yes of course! So wonderful to see you, Rita, my old pal!" overcompensated Anita.

Relaxed Rita walked far down the street. She was almost completely out of earshot from Anita.

"I always felt like you screwed me over!" exhaled Anxious Anita.
Rita kept walking.
"Why are you so goddamned relaxed?!" shouted Anita.
Rita began to disappear in the distance.
"Hey we should work on something together sometime, huh?"
Rita was a blurry blob almost out of sight.
"Will you be my maid of honor at my wedding?!"
Rita was gone.

Anxious Anita stood there defeated. She was getting married, but Relaxed Rita made her so anxious she didn't even think to mention it.

No comments: