Friday, September 26, 2014

Moe's Mom's Mush

Moe had a bowl of mush. He ate it one spoonful at a time.

"Yum good mush, mom." said Moe.
Moe's mom was very old. She slaved over his mush every day.
"You want mush again tomorrow?" she said.

The next day for ten years she made the mush and he ate it, he continued to live with his mother.
"Hey, want mush tomorrow?"
"Okay." he said.
The next day he ate the mush and his mom asked if he wanted mush the next day.
"Hmm... maybe something else if you got it."
His mom was so shocked she had a heart attack and died.

Moe was sad. He didn't know what to do. He met himself a nice girl named Dot and they got married. He felt guilty for trying to change his mush routine. He felt like he killed his mother. He asked his wife if she'd make him mush.

"Um I can try." said Dot.
Dot made Moe mush like mom would make. Moe ate Dot's mush.
"This isn't good like mom's mush." he said.
Dot was offended.
"I'm sorry, I know you miss your mother, but maybe you should try a change of mush."
"A change of mush is what killed my mother!"
"Are you trying to make me into your mother?"
"Yes." he confessed.
"You have mommy issues."
"No I don't, woman. You do what I say!" yelled Moe.
"Okay whatever you say." said Dot.
She had daddy issues. That is why she caved so quickly.

They bottled up their issues and had a kid named Hop. Hop had a hard time functioning because he had mom and dad issues. He went through a phase where he wore make up and pierced a lot of parts of his body.

Moe always resented Dot because she wouldn't make his mom's mush. So their son Hop resented any woman who didn't make his dad's mom's mush. Which was every woman. He also inherited his mom's dad issues so he had his own dad issues.
"This food ain't good enough." he said to women.
One day a woman responded with "Make your own goddamn food! Figure out how you want it!"
"Whoa." said Hop. This rocked his world. He'd never been stood up to like that and he was cured of the shackles of his parental mush issues.

1 comment:


God dang this voice is super fun to read