Wednesday, September 3, 2014

The Sensitive Story of Little Pip

Little Pip was kind of a tubby little squishy guy that if you got close to him you'd wanna give him a hug. He was real sensitive awwwww. Isn't that so sweet that he was so sensitive? Awww. He worried about what people thought of him. Awww how gentle. If someone said an insult to another person, Little Pip would feel bad for both the person being insulted, "I hope you aren't feeling bad," and the person who made the insult "If you need to talk some things out I'll listen." Everyone was hurting. Awww so sensitive, right?

Little Pip worried about what people thought because he's sensitive awww, but then he punched at a lady, hey isn't that mean? He didn't hit the lady though so maybe he got lucky and redeemed himself because of that. Instead of being a guy who punched a lady he was a guy who tried to punch a lady. I can't decide whether you're supposed to like him more because he got lucky and missed the lady, or not like him because of his intention to hit her. Is one worse than the other? Life is full of tough decisions and I gotta say it's no exception being this narrator, I've got a lot of problems, man.

I just manipulated your heart strings by telling you how gentle Little Pip was so you'd feel pity on him but then feel conflicted when I told you he tried punch a woman. I feel guilty playing with you and asking these hard ethical questions. Should I feel like a jerk about this? See how hard it is for me?

And I'll let you in on another secret: I have a narrator. You can't hear him, but he's making me out to be way worse than I am, to another group of people, than I'm making myself out to you. This guy's just out there talkin' about me! How am I supposed to deal with that?

"How am I supposed to deal with that!?" I shouted to the sky.

Little Pip just sat there waiting for me to continue telling his story.

"I don't feel like going on with it..." I said to the world.
"You have to!" Interjected my personal narrator, that I was telling you about earlier.
"Hey you're not allowed to interact here you're supposed to be telling this somewhere else!" I told him.
"Technically this isn't your story either, you're holding it up, it's Little Pip's."
"I don't mind," said Pip.

He was probably lying, that Pip. You know how sensitive the guy is and you also know he can't be trusted. He did swing at a lady once, remember?

This really pushed a button on Little Pip, when I said that. He started beating the pulp out of me. He had buried rage issues and said I was abusing my narrating privileges.  He beat me to death, or at least to where I was incapacitated for a while. I couldn't continue narrating his story.

"Hey this is the other narrator from before," the New Narrator said.
"I'll be finishing up the rest of the story from here." said me, the New Narrator.

I'm really sorry the initial narrator had to interfere so much because truth be told he really affected the  outcome of where our squishy hero was headed. Little Pip was on a road to personal recovery after he threw a punch at that woman, who frankly, kind of deserved it, I won't get into that part, but after bludgeoning the initial narrator so badly Little Pip is incarcerated. The initial narrator really should not have been so judgmental toward Pip, he also had a drinking problem, you know? I guess I'm judging him too a little.

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