"Who's there!?" said Burk, the local paranoid guy, as he walked from one room to another and heard a creak from his floor boards. "Hey I can hear you, stop playin' tricks," he yelled, as he knelt to the ground to see if he could hear another squeak. "Ah forget it," he said as he got back on his two legs to walk again. "But I'll be listenin' for you!" he added, as he spun around with a finger extended, to warn the floorboards once more. "I'm gonna go get coffee!" He announced to his empty house, but hoped his possible floorboard sneak would hear.
Burk was a retired newspaper carrier with goofy framed glasses, and gray hair that stood up and looked fuzzy and translucent when backlit, in case you were wondering what he looked like. He used to leave notes in the newspapers he carried with messages to the people reading that said things like "Don't believe the things they print in this!!" and "I know where you live in case you're gonna try something funny at me!"
"Did you poison this??!" Burk said to the lady at the diner who gave him some coffee.
"Nope." said the lady.
"Okay... Well everyone here should know that if something happens to me, like poison, I had my coffee here!"
"Sounds good, we don't have any poison here."
Burk took a walk down the street holding the newspaper in his hand.
"I don't believe any of this stuff! You're tryin' to trick me with it!" He yelled at his newspaper.
Burk walked to the park and yelled at the trees, "If there any assassins in these trees, I'm thinkin' about you." He waited to see if any shots rang out. "So you won't get me by surprise!" He didn't get shot this time.
Burk kept walking and heard a siren, "That's them comin' for me, isn't it?!" He shouted. The siren faded and they didn't come. "Hmm... well not this time." Burk said that every time a siren passed.
One time Burk was asleep at night. He's usually a light sleeper but this time he thought no big deal he'll have a deeper sleep. Too bad because they were waiting for him to deep sleep and they came and got him.
"Help! Help! They got me!" He yelled.
"No one can hear you." They said.
"I've been on to you. I've told everyone about you my whole life!"
"Who did you tell?"
"Everyone! Everyone who ever encountered me!"
"Give us names."
"Never! But it's everyone who's ever encountered me!" Burk yelled more.
Burk disappeared and was never heard from again. But not before he told them that he'd told everyone about them, and that they were coming. Now they're after everyone, including you.