Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Story of Pizza Sandwich

Barry was makin' a pizza sandwich. He was happy he was making it. It made him happy he was so good at it.

Barry would sit at home thinking about how everyone would react to his pizza sandwich.
"Pizza sandwich is so different from pizza and sandwich but still good like both!" he'd imagine them saying.

Barry would go outside. "Wait til you try my pizza sandwich, everyone." Barry'd say to everyone.

He wanted to get The Mayor to endorse it because he knew a guy who knew The Mayor. Then he also wanted to have Tall Tom who everyone looked up to help advertise it. He went to grade school with Tall Tom, maybe Tall Tom would help. He just kept thinking of things he was gonna do once that pizza sandwich was ready.

Days later he was at a place and saw a guy.
"What you workin' on Barry?" said that guy.
"I'm making a pizza sandwich!"

Barry ran into another fellow he hadn't run into in a while.
"I got this pizza sandwich thing I'm workin' on. I'm just workin on it, feels like night and day, can't wait! Lots of heavy movement on that. That's why I've been missing in action."
"Oh." said the fellow.
"I'm thinkin' The Mayor could endorse it, as well as Tall Tom, maybe even Gary the Boxman could design the box for it." Barry continued.

Barry always talked about the pizza sandwich whether folks wanted to hear or not. Three years went by and people did not see the pizza sandwich. How long could it take to come up with this pizza sandwich?

"Oh, yeah just you wait, I'm waitin to get it perfect. You know I'm thinkin' of gettin The Mayor to endorse it and Tall Tom?" he'd say.

Tragedy struck one day. Tall Tom died in his sleep due to an enlarged heart. His heart was too tall. Then tragedy struck another day, The Mayor had a scandal and got kicked out of office. His credibility was smeared.

Barry was screwed. He hadn't made any progress on his pizza sandwich in a couple of years because he was so caught up in what he'd do once it was ready. He walked down the street in worry.

Fanny the Loser came up to him, "Hey Barry how's that pizza sandwich comin'?!" he asked. Fanny the Loser was about the only person who took interest in Barry's pizza sandwich.
"Shut up! You shut up! Shut up, Fanny the Loser!"

Barry started hitting Fanny with his hat. A couple of townsmen ran up and said "Hey you can't hit Fanny the Loser like that! Shouldn't you be making your pizza sandwich, anyway?"
"Leave me alone! I'm workin' on it!" Barry screamed as he ran off. "I'm workin' on it!"
"A pizza sandwich?" said Larry the townsman. "What a good idea. I'm gonna go home and whip that together."

And that's how Larry's Pizza Sandwiches came to be our country's favorite and only food.

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