Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Big Jill Grits is Bad

Big Jill Grits was a tough mean bitch. She had dirt teeth, leathery skin and one eyebrow. She also had a sweet doggie named Duffer.

"Duffer, I'm gonna kill you." she said to it.
"Ruff." said Duffer.

Duffer looked around. Duffer was so loyal to Big Jill. Jill drove her truck to the edge of a cliff to throw Duffer off the cliff.

"Hmm maybe I should shoot you instead." she said to Duffer.
"Bark!" said Duffer.

Big Jill Grits said "Maybe I'll tie ya up in the bark yard and not give you any food."
"Arf." said Duffer.

She headed home. Duffer sat in the passenger seat.

"I ought to just have you put down" she said to Duffer.
"Woof." said Duffer.

She went home and poured Duffer a bowl of dog food and a bowl of water.
"I think I'll poison your food." she Jill.
"Bow wow." said Duffer.

She took Duffer on a walk the next day.
"I'm gonna take ya off this leash and let you run into traffic." said Big Jill.
"Pant pant pant." said Duffer.

She didn't take it off the leash. They walked past a big tough mean dog that barked.
"I'm gonna let that dog attack and rip you to shreds." Jill said to Duffer.
"Grrrrowl." Duffer said to the dog.

Then the big mean dog got out of the fence and charged Duffer. It's jowls shook and it's ferocious bark got louder as it quickly neared Duffer's throat. Then Big Jill jumped in front of the big dog and screamed "Get back!!" at it. Jill's alpha dog demeanor and threatening stance scared the big dog. The big dog backed up nervously, made a little grumble noise, and went back behind the fence.

"I'm gonna leave you in a dumpster." said Big Jill Grits to Duffer.
"Rarf." said Duffer.

Big Jill Grits shaved her head one day and people thought it was generally a good look for her. Big Jill Grits never did kill Duffer and Duffer lived a great doggie life.

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