Friday, December 26, 2014

Ultimate Rhoda: Super Manipulator

Ultimate Rhoda was a super manipulator. She got everything she wanted.

"Big meeting today, eh, Ultimate Rhoda?" said Ted.
"Ted I'm not nervous, because I've got you by my side. Great jacket!" said Ultimate Rhoda.

Ted looked down at his jacket. "Oh. Thank you! Yeah we're gonna kick some butt." Bam! Ted, manipulated. Now Ted was gonna be ready to back up Ultimate Rhoda. Though she wasn't gonna need it.

"We can take my car. Oh shoot I forgot my park pass." said Ted. Ted didn't even wanna drive. Bam! Manipulated.
"Sir that will be extra 15 dollars to re-park the car if you come back today without park pass." said Sirf, the parking attendant.
"Sirf, we have a big meeting. He's just giving me a ride. If I don't get to the meeting, it could be trouble. You and I are okay with each other, right?" said Ultimate Rhoda.
"Uh yeah okay I guess so. Joo can bring the car back no charge if you like." said Sirf. Bang! Sirf Manipulated.
"He's my bud." said Ultimate Rhoda.

Ted and Ultimate Rhoda walked into the big meeting.

"Don't be nervous, I got your back." said Ted.
"Thanks that's a big help." said Rhoda. Boom! Ted Manipulated. Rhoda wasn't nervous but made Ted think he was the reason she wasn't nervous.

"Come in!" said the big meeting room. Sam Hannigan was in there heading the big meeting. He was a slick suit slick stud muffin. His hairstyle left much to be desired though.

"Sam, great hair!!!" said Ultimate Rhoda.
Sam, surprised, placed his hand on his shameful hairstyle.
"Oh. Well, thank you Ultimate Rhoda." said Sam. Then he smiled bashfully. Pang! Sam Hannigan, manipulated. Watch what happens next.

"Sam we love your company so much. We think it's brilliant how you've constructed it so that it works so well," Bing! Manipulation, "and we've determined that the only thing that could make it work better is if it were run using our advanced elite organization technology that we've innovated and personally run ourselves. Plus, side note, we love your company, hehe!" schmoozed Rhoda.
"Okay Ultimate Rhoda, sign here, it's yours, here's the keys to the kingdom." said Sam Hannigan. Bam! Hannigan Manipulated.

Ted and Rhoda drove in the car excitedly. Ted couldn't believe how good Rhoda was.  She was almost too good at getting what she wanted.

"You kicked some butt in there, Ultimate Rhoda." said Ted.
"Aw couldn't have done it without you guiding me." said Ultimate Rhoda (Fing! Manipulation).
"Now you have it all!" said Ted.

Then Ted noticed his friend Swenson was out on the street.

"Oh hey! Can we pick up Swenson?" asked Ted.
"Oh but we can't because I got to go somewhere and it's urgent." said Rhoda. Flop! Manipulation failure.

Rhoda's denial gave Ted a glimpse into her soul. Ted knew she didn't have anywhere to be.
"You are lying and manipulating. You've made it to the top and you still want to manipulate? Where is your heart and soul, babe? We're picking up my friend Swenson and that's it!" Then Ted turned the car around and picked up Swenson.

"Wow thank you for picking me up!" said Swenson, who was nice and needed rides.

Ted picked up Swenson and they had a great talk and a great time. Swenson did smell very bad though. They went on a long drive and detour. Swenson smelled bad for the whole time.

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