Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Skip's Chore

Skip the Wholesome Teenager didn't want to mow the lawn.

"Golly jeez the grass is so tall!!" said Skip.
"You don't get to go out and play unless you finish your chores!" said Mother.
"Aw shucks!"
"You better shuck that grass, young man!" said Pop.

Skip sulked on his front porch in front of the uncut grass. Skip's teenage friends walked up with their bikes and walking sticks. There was Kit, the wily but nice kid. There was Ronnie, who was slightly indistinguishable from Kit. And there was Meatpie, the chubby friend.

"Hey Skip! Ain'tcha gonna come out and play?" said Kit.
"Yeah we'd sure love if ya came on out." said Ronnie.
"We're gonna go to the picture show and get cheese dippers!" said Meatpie
"I wish. Pop says I gotta cut this grass." said Skip.
"We're also gonna go find a dead body!" said Ronnie.
"And then we're gonna make Meatpie eat it!" said Kit.
"Shut up are not!" said Meatpie.
"Heheh knock it off, you two." said Kit.

This was a funny joke that made Skip giggle a bit even though he was sad about his chore.

"Well, come find us if you get finished in time will ya?" said Kit.
 "I don't wanna mow this stinkin' lawn, that's for sure." said Skip.

The fellas didn't find a dead body. And Skip didn't mow the lawn or meet up with them. He sat on the porch for years and grew and grew and got real fat. His pubescent facial hair grew in real gross and fuzzy like. The city seized the property they lived on, because the factory job his Pop had was replaced by machinery, and Pop's attempt at aluminum siding sales didn't pan out either, so Pop had no money.

"I still ain't cutting this grass." said Skip, who was fat and uneducated because he stayed on the porch through it all.

The city came and cut the grass just before they made them leave the property. When they cut all the years of heavy grass they found there was a dead body front and center on the lawn, but it'd been covered by the tall grass. There was a small investigation into Skip's family to see if they were responsible but they weren't.

"Oh I gotta go find the boys, tell 'em there's a dead body on my lawn!" said Skip.

But Skip had lost touch with the boys because he'd been on the porch too long. They had all left town and died in Vietnam.

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