Saturday, February 21, 2015

Balp's Disability

Balp had a harmless mental disorder that didn't make him dumb or dysfunctional but it made him annoying. He didn't realize it.

"You're annoying!" said everyone.
"Aw man." said Balp.

Balp walked up to Ginger and Patt.

"Hey I like pickin' my nose!!!" he said.
"Ew!" said Ginger.
"Gross!" said Patt.

Balp walked up to a health expert and lifted up his shirt and wiggled his excess belly fat.

"Hey wanna turn this into muscles!?!? Ha ha ha!" said Balp.
"Please sir. Serious inquiries only!" said the health expert.

Balp walked up to his mom.

"Mom I gotta go to bathroom wanna wipe me?! Ha ha ha!" said Balp.
"Ew Balp you're a grown up! I can't even tell if you're joking or not." said mom.
"Ha ha yeah jokes are good." said Balp.

Balp got a job at a sandwich shop.

"Gimme the pastrami." said Fran.
"For no extra cost I'll spit in it!" said Balp.
"Ew. Nevermind I'm outta here." said Fran.

Balp's boss was pissed.

"Balp! Nobody likes you. You're strange and make people uncomfortable and say things that are real head scratchers." said boss.
"When I scratch my head I have dandruff flying everywhere. Should I offer that to customers as a salt substitute? Ha ha ha."
"No, Balp."

Balp went to the doctor because he was kind of uneasy feeling after the boss said no one liked him. He didn't understand. The doc did some tests and asked some questions and came up with the diagnosis.

"The reason you act strange is because you have a mental disorder. It's not a disability. You're not crazy. It doesn't make you evil or a murderer or a bad guy. There are several mental disorders where people act strange." said the smart educated doc.
"Okay thanks, glad to know, ps want some free dirty underwear? Ha ha."
"No thank you." said the doc, with complete objectivity.

Then Balp went around acting the same way and didn't ever feel bad because he knew he had a mental disorder and that would be his excuse forever, rather than changing his behavior.

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