Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Hard Boiled Snafu

Becky had a hard boiled egg. She was so happy about it. You would never see another person so excited about a hard boiled egg, can you believe it? But this was gonna be a good tasting hard boiled egg, so you understand, right? Anyway she held it before herself.

"I shall eat this to yum heaven!" said Becky.

She put it on a plate. 

"But first I have to go brush my hair!" she said.

Brush her hair was code for go to the bathroom and use the toilet. She didn't want to be impolite. She was a lady. She was also going to wash her hands though. So even if she didn't use the bathroom toilet bowl she could have said she was going to wash her hands and no one would have been offended or thought she was someone who was using the toilet. Anyway she placed her prized hard boiled egg plate on the table.

"I'll get back to you shortly!" she said rubbing her hands together. Then she went to the bathroom leaving her hard boiled egg unattended. That was dumb of her.

Marcus walked up and saw the hard boiled egg. He had a name tag that had his name on it.

"Hmm that looks good." he said.

Then he ate the thing. Like a song of a bitch. Right as his last gulp went down Becky came back.

"Oh no, you ate my hard boiled egg! You song of a birch! You cockersocker! You swindlebag! You sick sack of sap! Marcus more like mucus! You snotman!" yelled Becky.
"Whoa easy on the language!" said Clean Herbert, who was walking by.
"Oh my gobs. I'm so sorry." said Marcus.

The sorry landed on Becky hard, who was expecting maybe a shut up or a eat this, babe. Or something antagonistic.

"Grumble..." said Becky.
"Gee I feel just awful. I have to find a way to make it up to you. This was my mistake completely. I should have thought before I ate the hard boiled eggy." said Marcus.
"Grumble mumble..." said Becky.

This hard boiled egg really meant a lot to Becky. It was going to be hard to have the day be better after not getting to eat it.

"I really am so so so sorry." said Marcus.
"...ermh.... It's okay. You didn't know." said Becky.

Then Marcus put his hand out and she shook it. Becky still had feelings of unrest within her, but what could she do? How could she experience the catharsis necessary to quell her rage. Marcus had already said he was so so so sorry. There was nothing more to be done about it.

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