Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The Juicer

Hannah went to eat a hamburger at Hamburger Hounddog's. They had the juiciest burger in town.

"Gimme the Juicer!" said Hannah.
"Uh... one Juicer, coming up." said the burger server.

Hannah thought it was strange that the burger server acted kind of weird. You know, how he said "Uh..."? It was like he didn't know what The Juicer was. But The Juicer was Hamburger Hounddog's signature burger. She proceeded, business as usual, anyway.

"Can't wait to eat that big fat juicy burger." said Hannah.
"Yes it's coming up." said the burger server.

Hannah sat at the table tapping her foot. She prepared condiments. She knew she was gonna pig out on that Juicer. Then she realized it might not be a pretty sight. So she decided she should eat it alone.

"Um, could I get that to go actually?" asked Hannah.
"Yes definitely." said the server.

She said and waited. Then paradise awaited. It was ready.

"One Juicer!" said the burger guy.
"That me." said Hannah.

She ran to her car and headed home. She decided she didn't want to wait to eat The Juicer so she pulled over a few blocks away from Hamburger Hounddog to eat The Juicer in her car. She opened the bag, she pulled out The Juicer, it didn't smell as fragrant as she expected. The bun was warm. She put it up to her face and took a bite. And clang! The meat patty was made of cold black metal rock. It rattled her teeth. Hannah was pissed. She turned her car around and drove back to Hamburger Hounddog's to complain.

She arrived at the Hamburger Hounddog location. But it was a church. What? With the same architecture.

Hannah walked up to the church door and knocked. A priest answered.

"Yes my child?"
"My burger is a rock." said Hannah.
"My dear you need the Lord."
"Where is Hamburger Hounddog?" asked Hannah.
"Hamburger Hounddog has been closed down for 25 years.
"But I was just there." said Hannah.
"It's gone now. Would you like to come in and pray?" said the priest.
"No, I want The Juicer."
"There is no Juicer." said the priest.

Hannah left furious. She was sure there was something suspicious going on. She became very paranoid and confused. Two weeks later she turned up dead.

1 comment:

Robert F. Crocker said...

Hi May! Love your article, you really nailed the major benefits of juicing plus your juicer choices are awesome :) Keep it up! Kitchen tool blog