Monday, February 16, 2015

Evil Dave

Evil Dave was at a wedding and he was looking around snaking the place for a victim to sleaze it up with.

"Hmmmm." he said as he ate a deviled egg.

He saw Dumpy Patty. She was taken. Damn. He saw Stupid Lucy. She bumped into a wall.

"Ouch." she said.
"Too dumb." mumbled Evil Dave, then he ate another deviled egg.

Then he saw Smelly Gertrude.

"I could handle some of that stinkiness." Evil Dave said to himself, then he ate another deviled egg and walked up to Smelly Gertrude.

"Hey Smelly Gertrude."
"Hi Evil Dave, you look nice." she said.

Then Evil Dave caught a whiff of how stinky Smelly Gertrude was.

"Oh." he said, after inhaling her smells, then he made an quick and clever excuse, "I just remembered I have to eat another deviled egg and also my mouth is dry, I need water. See ya, you look nice." said Evil Dave.

Then he got the hell away from her. Too bad. He was really gonna sink his evil fangs into her and do some bad manipulating. He went back to the drawing board. Or in this case the deviled egg table. That's when he spotted her. Innocent Carol. She was perfect. No date. Unsuspecting. Like a lone bunny. Hopping along. She was prime pickin'.

He popped one more deviled egg for good measure, and sashayed on over toward her. She was in trouble now. Evil Dave would have his way. And the scraps left behind would tell a sordid tale.

He eyed her. He hit his mark. He posed in place. He spoke.

"Hello Innocent Carol."

Then he vomited all over his white suit. It was a chunky yolk color with black dots. Then he diarrhea'd his pants real bad. Too many deviled eggs.

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