Sunday, June 28, 2015

Cocaine Calvin Snorts

There was a real shithead party on the Glossycrud Block. Everyone with shiny clothes and gelly hair was there.

Hugo, Ted, Charlotte, and Cocaine Calvin sucked up a line of cocaine real hard. Cocaine Calvin sucked up the cocaine harder than anyone.

"Aw man of course we should have guessed Cocaine Calvin was gonna suck up the cocaine hard before we could get some of it." said Hugo.
"I wanted some of the cocaine too, Cocaine Calvin!" said Charlotte.
"I needed it!" said Hugo.
"I didn't want it that bad. I mostly just need friends." mumbled Ted.

Meanwhile Cocaine Calvin was sucking the cocaine through his nose into his head.
"One sec then it'll be your turn, lemme just get one little suck into my face." said Cocaine Calvin.

Then he took the biggest hardest cocaine nose suck you ever did hear about in your whole coke-snorting life. He sucked so hard that the cocaine shot through his nasal passage like a bullet, penetrating his eye balls and the gray matter in his brain and shattering through his skull and ripping through his thinning hair and cracking into the ceiling fan and piercing through the ceiling and shredding through the insulation in the attic and chopping through the wood boards in the roof and unshingling the shingles on top of the house and soaring through the sky and absorbing all the moisture and barely missing an airbus transporting people.

"Oh gosh." said the passengers, feeling a bit of a rattle.
"Sorry about that misters and misses, we're experiencing a bit of cocaine turbulence." said the pilot.
"How did you know it was cocaine turbulence?" said the co-pilot.
"I'm an old pro." said the pilot.
"Wow!" said the co-pilot.
"But looks like we're gonna have a storm now." said the pilot.

Cuz the cocaine shot into the clouds and the atmosphere and spinned em around a bunch and it rained and took evaporated water away from important water reserves.

Back down at the party the gang hung out.

"I feel awesome." said Cocaine Calvin. Then he died. Then Charlotte did some and she felt real hot and the dudes wanted to do it with her.
"Oh no it's raining!" said other people at the party.

Don't do drugs.

1 comment:

chris said...

Cocaine Calvin Art