Thursday, June 11, 2015

The Jimpart

Jim grew an extra body part. It was on his body and sticking out funny. It made his clothes not look right. It threw off his balance when he walked. It had a joint in it and he was able to make it bend slightly. But it had no practical purpose. It was 98% an inconvenience.

"Ew." said people quietly to themselves, if they'd get a glimpse at it.
"Did I catch this from doing something I shouldn't have done?" said Jim to himself.
"Does anyone else have this body part?" he'd think to himself.

No one did. It was an entirely new body part and it didn't even have a name. Jim went to the library to do some research.

"Where are the medical books?" said Jim.
"Over there." said the librarian's assistant, pointing toward a section of books.
"Before you go, what are you looking for there? Out of curiosity. I know it's none of my business I just like to ask questions sometimes, you know? This library gets very lonely. God, I am so lonely. I feel like talking really loudly sometimes too. I-I-I-I... can't think of anything else to say, please start talking before I keep going--"
"I'm looking for the body part books."
"Like anatomy?" said the librarian's assistant.
"Like a body part book." said Jim.
"Oh, you actually want to go that way." said the librarian's assistant, point in the opposite direction.

Jim walked toward the section of books. On his way there his new body part grazed and whacked multiple people he was passing by on accident. He knocked over a guy's stack of papers.

"Hey watch it pal!" said the guy.

Jim went and browsed all the body part books he could find. He definitely didn't find any info about this new body part. He was scared for all the reasons he would be. He figured it wasn't cancer because you can't wiggle cancer, but then maybe you can wiggle cancer and he didn't know about it, he thought. So he went to the doctor and said "Doc take this new body part off!"
"Okie doke." said the doc.
"But first, tell me what it's called."
"Hmm... never seen it before. It must be a new part. I'm a descendant of a lotta doctors and my grand x 200-grandfather was the first guy to see the elbow." said the doctor, whose name was Dr. Schmelbow.
"Oh." said Jim.
"We could name it." said the doc.
"How bout The Belbow." said Dr. Belbow.
"Ehh.." said Jim.
"Okay, okay, no prob. How abouuut... Jimpart?"
"That's kinda cool." said Jim.
"Okay let's take this sucker off." said Dr. Belbow.

Then Dr. Belbow did surgery and removed the Jimpart.

"Now I kind of miss it." said Jim.

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