Monday, June 8, 2015

The Giving Rickians

Selfish Dave said to Giving Rick "Hey can I borrow your shoelaces, mine are kinda tight."
"Oh certainly." said Giving Rick.

Selfish Dave loosened up his shoelaces so he could take off his shoes and lace them with Giving Rick's shoelaces. Giving Rick gave Dave his laces. Dave laced his shoes with the new laces. He tugged 'em nice and snug.

"Oh great, now these are too tight too!" said Selfish Dave.
"Oh I'm so sorry. What next may I do to help?" said Giving Rick.
"Buy all this life insurance from me." said Selfish Dave.
"Okay I will do that." said Giving Rick.

Then Selfish Dave knew he was in the money so he said "Heh heh heh, good!"

So Giving Rick went and bought all the insurance and then he accidentally got run over by a tractor and died. It was an accident and because the world was Giving Rick's family that meant that Selfish Dave had to give everyone money and he was pissed.

"Oh no my life is ruined this ain't no fair." said Selfish Dave.
"Ha ha ha, now we get the money!" said everyone else.
"Yay! Ha ha I'm happy and laughing about my good fortune! Thanks to Giving Rick for dying for us!" said others.
"All hail Giving Rick!" said them again.
"Oh no this stinks!" said Selfish Dave.

Selfish Dave had to pay everyone ever the money forever. But then Selfish Dave went and found a tiny piece of language in his insurance papers that said he didn't have to because this technicality said giving stuff was cheating on Giving Rick's end.

"Hey everyone, I found a piece of thing that says it's all a mistake and I get the money back!" said Selfish Dave.

Then everyone was mad and said "You're a liar, you besmirch the name of Giving Rick!"
"Yeah you're a demon now!" said everyone else.
"Uh oh." said Selfish Dave.
"Yeah you're in big trouble now." said everyone.

Then they burned Selfish Dave and he became Giving Rick's devil guy in all the literature about what a good guy Giving Rick was. Selfish Dave was the bad guy for life. And then a war started because people wouldn't keep giving to everyone in the way that it said Giving Rick did in this book someone wrote about him.

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