Saturday, June 6, 2015

The Slightly Alarmed Fellow

Gaylord barfed up blood and he was like "Uh oh is that bad?" Then he had to pee and he pissed up blood. "Wuh-oh is that okay?" he said. Then he sat down on the toilet and shit up blood. Then he breathed in his heavy pollen and sneezed blood speckles on his white wall.

He tried to clean up the bloody sneeze speckles but he had shitblood, pissblood, and pukeblood speckled all over himself so he got more on the wall. Then he was sad because he loved that white wall so he cried blood.

Then he was more worried about all the blood and stuff so he went to the doctor, Dr. Potso.

"I noticed there's a little blood in my stool, snot, sneeze, pee, emesis, and tears." said Gaylord.
"Been there done that." said the doctor, Dr. Potso.

Gaylord didn't feel like the doctor was very helpful. He seemed like a very busy doctor. So he went to a different doctor, Dr Blister.

"Doctor, I'm bleading in the places that are bad to bleed from."
"You spelled bleading wrong." said Dr. Blister.
"How can you tell I spelled it wrong, I said it, not wrote." said Gaylord.
"I could just tell by the way you said it that you were saying the misspelled version." said Dr. Blister.

Gaylord thought he'd get another opinion about his condition. He went to Dr. Bacon.

"Doctor Bacon, I'm bleeding from my snot and piss and shit and tears and hair and skin and gums and places."
"Hmm, sounds like indigestion. Want a lolly pop?" said Dr. Bacon.
"Yes." said Gaylord.

Gaylord was at peace with this diagnosis. Then another Doctor, Dr. Goo-Goo, ran up to Gaylord.
"Gaylord, wait, stop! I heard about those symptoms you described and I don't think it's indigestion!"
"Actually, Dr. Goo-Goo, you're wrong. See, it is indigestion. Because you're liking in an alternate dimension where those are the symptoms of indigestion. Pretty freaky riiiight?" said Gaylord.

Then Dr. Goo-Goo gasped, tugged at his hair, ran in circles and screamed "help!" and "noooo" and "someone get me out of here!"

1 comment:

Ronnie Peace said...

At least he didn't sweat it