Saturday, March 7, 2015

Jimmy the Chew

Jimmy the Chew chewed a slice of gum and yum it was good gum and he chew chew chewed it up. It got so chewed up that Jimmy the Chew chewed all the flavor out this slice of gum.

"Hey Jimmy the Chew I see you chew chew chew on the gum gum yum gum. How bout ya spread the wealth?" said Tony the Taker.
"You got it, Tony the Taker." said Jimmy the Chew.

Then Jimmy the Chew patted his pockets all over, his breasts, his hips, his butt bottom, his sides. And uh oh, if you ever seen one, but Jimmy the Chew was out of gum chews! Not a slice to his name.

"Uh..." said Jimmy.
"Well where's my slice?!" said Tony the Taker.

Tony the Taker just liked to take. He never provided. He just took took took. Well naturally Jimmy the Chew was getting anxious about this. Not only did he not have an extra chew for Tony the Taker, who was more like Tony the Entitled, for how he acted, Jimmy himself was running out of flavor in his chewed up gum chew.

"I, uh... I'm outta gum chews."
"What the hell!?? No more gum? What a bum!" and Tony the Taker took off.

Jimmy didn't know he was better off without Tony the Taker. No one liked Tony the Taker, everyone had a bad experience with him. But everyone was also too insecure to talk about it with one another. Had they piped up they'd have learned that Tony the Taker was nothin' but a grubby taker who didn't bring nuttin' to the table but taking. And who needs that?! So Tony rose in the ranks of people, preying on peoples resources and social fears.

Tony was temporarily out of Jimmy's hair... but the next big problem for Jimmy was he had no flavor left in his gum chew. And no new gum chew left in sight.

And on top of that. He was a polite guy and respected establishments, so he wasn't about to plug his flavorless gum onto the bottom of a seat. And even more on top of that, there wasn't a trashcan near by, he thought about swallowing the gum, but you know the notorious superstition. He knew better, but still wasn't gonna swallow it cuz... superstition.

Then Judy the Lifesaver walked up, smackin'!
"Hey Jimmy!" said Judy.
"Judy, I see ya smackin' can ya life save me, with an extra slice??"
"Uh course!" said Judy.

Judy whipped out a cinnamon flavored stick. It wasn't Jimmy's preference but it would have to do. He got a new stick and a mini-paper to plug his flavorless stick into. He was safe and saved. Though he still had work to do on himself about not feeling pressure from people like Tony.

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