Saturday, March 21, 2015

The Bold Man's Beat

Here we are in the future, which is modern day to us, but old time to anyone reading this a long time from now. But anyway, I wanted to tell you the tale of a fellow from a long, long, long, long time ago in the bustling metropolitan days of a long time ago time.

Jerry Harry. Jerry Harry was a man who had things that everyone would think was important to do. One day he showed up to a meeting to talk turkey.

"Hey, I want to make the deal and seal the deal. You understand me?" said Jerry Harry.
"Uh.. uh.. um..." nodded Griffin.
"Are you listening?" said Jerry Harry.
"Yes yes."
"So we can seal the deal?"
"Yes." said Griffin.

The deal was sealed and Jerry made his exit. The reason Griffin was so taken off guard was that Jerry seemed so confident, but he also had lots of crumbs on his mouth. Crumbs everywhere, and he didn't seem to care. Griffin was scared to say something about it.

Next Jerry Harry had a big date with Tonya Beauty.

"This is my car I'm picking you up in."
"Thanks for driving." said Tonya.

Jerry Harry still had crumbs on his face. Tons. Tonya was nervous at first about saying something. She tried to signal, but it was too uncomfortable for her to bring up directly. Then she kept having fun even though he had a big crumb face. She went to bed with him that night and smooched him on the face. She got all those crumbs in her mouth and still didn't say anything.

Then Jerry seemed to have more crumbs on his face the next day. Tonya didn't say anything and eventually wound up marrying Jerry Harry. She was a real catch.

Jerry Harry did a bunch of other stuff and the crumbs were there with him the whole way. No one seemed to say anything. Until one big day Jerry Harry had to make a big speech on TV. The makeup lady, whose job it is to bring it up, was bold enough to bring it up.

"Honey, you got crumbs all over your face."
"I know I do. I put them there! They look cool!" Jerry said incredulously.
"You want me to take them off?" said makeup lady.
"No way, I oughta fire you for suggesting that, but I won't cuz I'm nice." said Jerry Harry.

Then Jerry went on TV and made a big important speech with crumbs on his face. The crumbs caught on and that's how crumbs on the face came to be the coolest thing in fashion here today, in the future of right now.

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