Sunday, March 22, 2015

The Most Dangerous Tuna Sandwich

Smucky went to the catered party and they had a tuna sandwich, he was looking all around and the food options. The free food was calling him.

"Hey eat me and eat lots of me!" said the loose marinated beef.
"Hey scarf me down I'm filling, and good for you, lots of roughage." said the leafy greens.
"Hey babe, do what you want with me, I don't even care." said this Tuna Sandwich that was just sitting there.
"Oh hmmm." said Smucky.

The Tuna Sandwich had piqued his interest for sure. It wasn't coming on too strong. It was a mix of not terribly unhealthy, not too greasy, but not so boring like leafy greens.

"You know you want to eat this. But also I don't care if you want to eat it or not." said the Tuna Sandwich.
"I think we have great chemistry." said Smucky.

Smucky ate the Tuna Sandwich. It was the best damned tuna sandwich he'd ever had. He thought it was real special. But then it didn't settle with with his stomach. He'd made a mistake and his was feeling ill. He got food poisoning real bad. He stayed ill for weeks and couldn't seem to shake the illness that came from the tricky Tuna Sandwich. He tried to blame the tuna sandwich, but really it was his body's fault. Not the sensual exciting Tuna Sandwich that seemed to casually call to something deep within his soul.

For years he couldn't look at any Tuna Sandwich of this style. When he'd go somewhere that had Tuna Sandwiches he have to look away and act like they weren't there so he wouldn't feel ill.

"Smucky get over those Tuna Sandwiches, I don't see what the big deal is with them anyway, they aren't that great." said a buddy of Smucky
"They must just appeal to something deep within my palette that I cannot resist. But the bad feeling I felt from before makes me know that I can eat Tuna Sandwiches no more." said Smucky in his intellectual wire framed glasses while holding a glass of wine.

Then one time he was at another nicely catered dinner event and guess what was there? Tuna Sandwiches.

"Smucky, eat one of me. Hi I always liked you Smucky and I won't hurt your stomach." said the Tuna Sandwich.
"Sorry I... I don't eat Tuna anymore."
"It's okay, I'm dolphin safe..." said the Tuna Sandwich.
"Ahhh... I better go." said Smucky.

Smucky left but he still wanted the Tuna Sandwich. Maybe he'd eat one later.

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