Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Rough Morning at Work

Brad walked into work and he gripped his briefcase. He held his briefcase a little further out than usual because he wanted to air out his armpit because he was sick and fucking tired of going home with a musty stinky armpit.

On his way into his office he got stuck in his narrow doorway because he held out the briefcase further than usual.
"Fuck, shit, cunt!" he said.

Then he took a spill and crashed into his desk and it collapsed. When he stood back up he was still gripping his briefcase. Then he threw it.
"Fuck this shit." he said.

He glanced at his arm. He had a pencil sticking out of it. He also had a pencil sticking out of his forehead side. He was pissed and annoyed so he spit real hard.

He kicked a tray full of papers.
"I'm sick of this goddamned door!" he shouted.

Then he walked through the wall. It was a cheap shit office so it wasn't that hard. But he had asbestos crumbles all over his suit. He crashed through the wall into Barbara's office. She started screaming because he looked like a dusty white crumbles monsters. He got asbestos in her coffee.

Then he dumped the coffee on Barbara's head because she was stupid anyway. Fuck Barbara, she has a stick up her ass. He bent her over to pull it out.
"Where's that stick?! I'm trying to help you!" he screamed.

Barbara screamed.
"The doctor musta pulled it out!" shouted Brad.

Then Brad punched through a window and took a bite of a piece of broken glass. Everyone else in the office was mad at Brad and thought he was real out of line. He was expected to get fired, but after that  he lit his sleeve on fire and then ran to the bathroom to put it out. Then he wouldn't come out of the bathroom because he said he was passing a kidney stone, which helped illicit sympathy from everyone, so he kept his job.

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