Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Creampuff Chase

Fabioso got a creampuff. It was one of the best creampuffs. He got it because the creampuff puffer loved Fabioso.

"Oh Fabioso you can do no wrong, you get the creampuff!"
"Mmm yum." said Fabioso, as he took a bite of the creampuff. Then he dropped the creampuff.
"Oopsy." said Fabioso.
"That's okay, Fabioso, you can have lots more creampuffs."

Then Malmo showed up.

"Hey I'm trying to get a creampuff." said Malmo.
"Oh Malmo you are so great. I will give you a creampuff. But first I need you to run up the hill and park a bicycle and then also dig a hole for me and bury this ankle bracelet." said the puffer.
"What? Why must I do that for a creampuff?" said Malmo.
"Oh it's just how it works. Everyone does that for a creampuff." said the puffer.

Malmo looked at Fabioso scarfing down creampuffs. Fabioso was completely unself-aware and making glup glup noises.

"Did he have to do that?" said Malmo, pointing to Fabioso.
"Of course he did." said the puffer.
"Ob gourse why did!" said Fabioso, with a mouthful of creampuff.

Though Malmo was skeptical of whether Fabioso did. But he came there for the creampuff so he did what he was told to get the creampuff. He went up the hill and did all that shit. Then he came back. And asked for creampuffs.

"Oh I also need you to juggle an onion and stand on one foot and be me to a person but apologize and convince them you didn't mean it." said the puffer.
"What?! Why?"
"Them's how the creampuffin' system works!" said the puffer.
"So true." said Fabioso who was getting so fat from all the creampuffs he was eating.
"Look I've always wanted to give you a creampuff, can't you appreciate that I'm trying to help you get a creampuff?" said the puffer.
"Creampuff life is the good life." said Fabioso.

Malmo went and did that shit too. He felt like a worse person because of the being mean thing. He questioned whether he even liked creampuffs.

"Hey gimme a creampuff now." said Malmo
"I only have this stale one left." said the puffer.
"You son of a bitch." said Malmo.
"But more good ones are being puffed soon!" said the puffer.
"Oh yeah?" said Malmo.
"Yeah! In order to get them all you have to do go to your shoe store and sell them toe nail clippers and call a dance instructor from the yellow pages and go wait in line at the dmv and taste a magic marker and stare at the sun for 30 minutes. Seems easy enough, right?" said the puffer.
"Mmm good creampuff, I'm on creampuff cloud nine." said Fabioso.
"Eh... I don't think I want creampuff anymore." said Malmo.

And he went and got a cannoli.

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