Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Troubled Drifter

Jasper the Troubled Drifter drifted into Lonny the Fortune Teller's fortune telling abode.

"I don't know where I'm going, I need guidance." said Jasper.
"Okay sit down, let me feel your energy." said Lonny.
"Okay I'm sitting."
"You hold a dark secret."
"It's true." said Jasper.
"It burns within you."
"I've been running so long."
"It keeps chasing you though."
"I confess. I pee fire."
"I knew it."
"I roam from town to town doing it."
"You're a threat."
"May I use your restroom?" said Jasper.
"No this is my family business." said Lonny.
"I give up on life then." said Jasper.

Then Jasper went outside and wet his pants and caught on fire and died.

"Oh no!" shouted Lonny.
 The wily kids from the block ran up too.

"We gotta bury him he's cursed!" said Lonny to the kids.
"We knew he was cursed we saw him wondering around and we read ghoul comic books!" said the kids.

They buried him in the ground but it's a cursed ground because it was a former rodent cemetery that was a former Voodoo museum that once burned down. And so Jasper came back to life after being in the ground because of the double curse.

"Now he's evil!" said the kids.
"Stop him!" said the cops.
"You're the cops!" said Lonny and kids.

The cops shot him. But the bullets didn't work on him because he's dead.
"He has to get shot with a copper bullet!" said Lonny.

But they didn't have a copper bullet only a silver one. So they fired.
"Bang!" said the silver bullet gun.

But then Wolf-Woman showed up and silver bullets kill her, but she was nice and they didn't want to kill her.

"Oh no!" said they.

They buried her in the cursed ground and the Wolf-Woman came back, because she was cursed too, because that's why she was a Wolf-Woman. She seemed nice still. Then Jasper tried to pee but he was charred so hard only black dust came out. And that wasn't really that big of a deal, so he got a job sweeping after the dust that kept falling off himself at the local liquor store, and he was able to stop drifting. Everyone was pretty okay with the outcome of everything.

No comments: