Sunday, May 24, 2015

Two Johns on a Wild Night

John #1 walked down the street with John #2.

"Hey Handsome, feelin' like some fun?" said Betty the Bitch.
"Yeah I'd like to have some fun too." said Lucy the Ho.

Then Big Shiny Pimp Ralph walked up.

"Fellas, fellas, you lookin' for some fun? My bitches and hoes give the most fun in town, you'll be hollerin' from having such a good time." said Big Shiny Pimp Ralph. Then he explained what they do.

"This bitch here," said Ralph, pointing to Betty, "will pinch your arm for 40 bux, poke your tummy for 50, and this ho here will do the same," Ralph continued, pointing to Lucy, "but also she'll also run her fingers through your hair for 60, and pat you on the bottom for 65... the finest bitches money can buy."

John #1 and John #2 stood there for a moment, checking out the ladies.

"Hmm..." said John #1.
"I don't know." said John #2
"Money talks, fellas. You wanna go home together or having had a wild ride?" said Ralph the Shiny Pimp.

John #1 signaled for Ralph to come close so he could whisper a question.
"Say pal, you think one of your bitches might be willing to... scratch under my chin with her index finger?" whispered John #1.
"Daaamn you into some freaky shit. Lemme find out." said Ralph. Then he went and consulted with the hoes.
"You got yourself a deal for 60." said Ralph.
"Okay I'm in." said John #1.
"Uh, I guess I'll take a fingers through hair." said John #2.
"You boys have yourself a good time. Pay the girls, not me." said Big Shiny Pimp Ralph.

The Johns went and had a wild time. On the way home John #1 talked about what a stud he felt like.

"Man oh man, was that a great evening." said John #1
"I don't know. I guess I feel kind of gross about myself." said John #2.
"What? You gotta loosen up bud. You should have let her give your tummy a little poke."
"Actually she did poke me in the tummy, she threw it in there no charge, I guess to loosen me up."
"Oh maaan, that means she liked you bro!" said John #1.

John #2 went home and took a long shower to try to clean the filthy feelings off.

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