Kip had a big date with Shayla so he made sure to put a bunch of rocks in his underwear. His underwear was really tight too. He took tiny little steps because some of the rocks had harsh edges. The rocks bulged out of his undies in all directions. He also wore tight pants to hold the underwear rocks in place.
"Ooh ooh. Ooh...ow" he said when he walked. The rocks rubbed together as he walked and made diapery crunch noises.
He called Shayla to check in..
"It's Shayla!" she said.
"Hey baby, I'm coming to pick ya up!"
"Okay, I'm almost ready!" said Shayla.
She had to finish drawing genitals on her forehead and cheekbones. She wanted to look nice for the date. Kip came to the door. Shayla answered.
"Hello." she said.
"Wow. You look stunning!" said Kip.
"Are you wearing makeup? I can't tell." said Kip.
"I am." said Shayla.
"Well, you're a natural beauty regardless. You don't even need it."
"Oh well, I just wanted to give my face a little touch up." said Shayla.
"Cmon, I'm starved." said Kip.
Kip took Shayla to a fancy restaurant where they only served toilet paper.
"We will never serve used toilet paper. And that's a promise!" was posted on the door as they walked in.
"Geez, this place seems really nice." said Shayla.
"Only the best for my natural---ooh, ouch." said Kip.
"Are you okay?" said Shayla.
"Yeah. I'll be honest I'm not used to dressing up." said Kip, waddling into the restaurant.
They sat down and ordered. "Ooh ah ow." said Kip as he sat.
"I'll have the fried toilet paper." said Shayla.
"Certainly, and for the gentleman?" said the waiter.
"Could I have a plate full of toilet paper with mayonnaise?"
After the meal they exited the restaurant.
"Mmm I'm so full." said Shayla.
"Hey wanna go back to my place?" said Kip.
"Umm... sure." said Shayla.
They waddled to Kips, both nervous. They made it back. The chemistry between them was strong.
"I have a confession to make," said Kip, "I don't really walk as cool as you think. I put a bunch of rocks in my underwear."
Then he ripped open his pants and underwear and all the rocks scattered everywhere. He had a few pebbles stuck in his foreskin and on his butt cheeks.
"I hope you don't think I'm like some sort of a creep or something. You know for tricking you."
"No, no." said Shayla, "I have a confession to make too. I'm not as pretty as you think I am. Look."
Then she smeared the penis she had drawn on her face. It was caked on pretty heavy.
"I think you're as beautiful as ever." he said.
"I think you're a really nice guy." she said.
Then they made love on a big pile of garbage in the spacious bathroom by the kitty litter and laundry machine.