Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The Dangerous Imposer

Bittle Jim was scrawny and he had a big fat fat wife named Frankensteina. They were the perfect match. She liked to sit on him and he liked to wrap his arms around Frankensteina's fat fat body to try to get around the whole thing. He could never do it.

"Nice try." said Frankensteina.

Bittle Jim would get caught in her when he hugged too hard. One day Sneaky Grag showed up, he had dirty teeth.

"I'm on the run cuz I wronged a guy." said Sneaky Grag.
"You can't hide with us you creep." said Frankensteina.
"I gotsa too, nothin' you can do about it." said Sneaky Grag.

He was bad.

One night, that night actually, Franksteina and Bittle Jim were in bed. She was sitting on him, and they were talking about how they were worried about how Sneaky Grag was bad to have around the house.

"He seems like trouble." said Bittle Jim.
"I like things that taste salty and sweet, and he smells sour and bitter!" said Frankensteina.

They walked in the room where he was watching their tv and picking at his genitals in his underwear and eating their cracker snacks.

"I love this show, it's about Cops and Lawyers!" said Sneaky Grag.
"Sneaky Grag you gotta go." said Frankensteina.
"You're not making it safe here. We know you done trouble." said Bittle Jim.
"No I won't go and I'll kill you if you try to make me." said Sneaky Grag.

Frankensteina and Bittle Jim were scared now. They hatched a plan to kill Sneaky Grag first.

Then they killed him. They did it by hitting him on the head with a frying pan and turning on the oven and letting him breathe in fumes and then they punched him when the fumes cleared out and they also poured boiling water on his face and stood on him and Frankensteina sneezed on him, she was getting over the flu, and they burnt his hand in a toaster oven and they put rat poison in his butt and it got absorbed into his body through his rectum.

"He's dead." said Bittle Jim.

Then there was a knock at the door. It was Helmet Sadson.
"I'm looking for Sneaky Grag. He did me wrong and killed my family and my only mission is to kill him."
"He's dead." said Frankensteina.
"Damn. Now what do I do?"
"Want to see proof?" said Frankensteina.
"Oh. Yes good idea." said Helmet Sadson.

Helmet went and looked at Sneaky Grag.
"If only I'd been the one to kill him."

Then Sneaky Grag woke up from the dead and scared em, because he wasn't dead yet. Helmet Sadson killed Grag real quick. Then he felt good about his life and Frankensteina and Bittle Jim invited him to hang out with them because he seemed nice.

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