Sunday, July 26, 2015

Yeckity Heckity Winkle Time

Blolita wore silver super magnet finger nail polish and she kept getting paperclips stuck to her fingertips.

"Get these damn things offa me!" she said shaking her hands and flinging clips everywhere. One of the clips flew across the room and put out Dernald's eye. But his eye was a plastic eye anyway because he'd lost his eye to a poison telescope once, and he couldn't afford a glass eye, which was high class. So he had a low class plastic eye.
"Hey you poked my eye I couldn't see out of out!" said Dernald.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" said Blolita.
"No I'm saying thank you! Finally I can go get that high class glass ball I've had my good eye on."

Dernald would go to the eyeball shop every week just to window shop. He was a windowshopaholic. He needed that good push. But then he got the good push and it wasn't enough. So he needed that good poke. He finally got the poke and it was enough.

"I'm going to get that new ball!" he said.

Dernald stepped out side but his car in the driveway had just been painted with peanut butter by the car paint guy and it wasn't dry yet.

"Aw shit I forgot I just got my paint job done." said Dernald.
"Ooh I'll bet it has that new peanut butter smell." said Blolita.
"But it's not drivable." said Dernald.
"So walk!"

So Dernald was gonna do that but right before he opened the door and stepped outside the front porch exploded. 

"Aw shit not again." said Dernald. 

Then it started raining Coca-Cola. And the cola put out the burning porch. But it kept raining.
"Can I borrow your galoshes?" asked Dernald.
"But these galoshes were given to me by a person I've never met and meant nothing to me, I can't let you wear them out. And they're for water, not cola."
"Can I wear them to bed?" 
"They are very comfortable to go to sleep in, you have to promise not to fall in love with them."

So Dernald put the galoshes on and went to bed and had dreams of buying the glass eye and he fell in love with the galoshes and was worried Blolita would be mad but she woke up panicked because the refrigerator was stuck to her fingernails in the morning so she was distracted with that and he was like "Yesssss lucky me!"

1 comment:

chris said...