Monday, January 26, 2015

Bob Goes Crazy

Bob Napkin sat on his chair at home and slowly went insane. His wife Nancy Napkin walked in and found him having gone insane. He wasn't making any sense.

"Treehouse, magic markers, lettuce, disposable cameras, crackers, banjo nudity." he said.
"Oh no you've gone crazy!" said Nancy.

Nancy had Bob committed to a mental institution. He went there and they gave him treatment and he still stayed crazy. They locked him up and he was crazy. He ate some pills then he stayed crazy but was quiet and crazy. He was crazy.

Nancy moved on with her life and met Henry Texas, a real gentleman.

"I swear I ain't crazy, and if I were I'd tell ya!" said Henry Texas.
"What a relief. I loved Bob, but he just seemed to go crazy, ya know?" said Nancy.
"I hear ya, gorgeous. But listen, my mama raised me not to go crazy."
"Wow, what a fabulous woman." said Nancy.

Nancy and Bob Napkin also had a kid, Josephy Napkin.

"Josephy, I'm your new dad now. You can celebrate." said Henry Texas.
"This sounds like a great deal. I didn't want a crazy dad." said Josephy.

Then they hugged. Then Nancy Napkin walked in.

"Uh-oh, are my two new favorite men having a moment?!" said Nancy Napkin.
"Yes, baby. We bonded. And by the way, you're new name's gonna be Nancy Texas." said Henry Texas.
"What about me?" said Josephy.
"You can decide what your name is when you turn 18, ya got it?" said Henry.

Meanwhile, over at the loon house, Bob Napkin, sat there thinkin' about toy trains made of cheese and fantasizing about eating spaghetti and garbage balls, instead of meatballs. Boy, was he certified!

Across town, Bob Napkin's old friend, Michael Gummies, who wore glasses and was bald, sat at work thinking.

"Gee I miss my friend Bob Napkin." he thought to himself.

Michael Gummies called up the loony institution.

"Hi." said the institution.
"Hey, I got a question about my friend Bob who is there."
"Is he there at all?"
"No, he's totally crazy, nothing of him left."
"Oh, man that's sad."
"Yep, sorry about that."
"Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"No." said Michael Gummies.
"Would you like to take an anonymous survey about your experience on the phone with me today?"
"No thank you."
"Okay have a great day goodbye." said the institution.

Then everyone just went about their lives, and the vessel with which Bob Napkin once resided remained corrupted with a rotten processor until the day it expired.

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