Friday, January 16, 2015

Popular Pam

Popular Pam was the hottest babe in town. I mean this bitch was so hot. Oh my god you shoulda seen her body damn, damn damn. Ooh ooh. Damn what I wouldn't give!! Man and like when it's hot outside and she sweated a bunch ooh damn bro I wish I had got to the look at her wearing a bikini. And she walked around and got everything she wanted cuz she was so hot oh my god wow!

One day as well as a different day she treated a bunch of people real krappy because she was so damn hot, even guys! And guys were like,

"Oh damn I can't believe how hot she is she has boobs."
"Sorry suckers." Pam would say.
"Baby, gimme some." said Eddie Dinkins
"How bout I give ya none!" said Popular Pam.
"Oooooh" said the rest of the fellas.
"I think you're cute." said Marvin Yumster.
"Cute is all? Take a fall!" said Popular Pam.
"Daaaaaaaamn." said the fellas.
"Baby, is you going to letting me gives you a kiss?" asked Jose Trujillo.
"No way, Jose." said Popular Pam.
"Ohhhhh." said the fellas.

Then there was Myron the Stooge, who also wanted to kiss Pam.

"I think your a hot babe and wanna kiss ya, baby." said Myron the Stooge.
"Ew, never with you!" said Popular Pam.

One day Popular Pam got old and fat and, even though I still thought she was hot because I'm into that sort of thing, people didn't notice as much.

"Hey suckers it's me Pam. Ready to have your socks knocked off by me?" she'd say when she walked by, but then all the bros would be like, "Ah get over yourself Pam."

Popular Pam didn't know what the hell to do. All she'd ever known was being the damned hottest smokinest babe in town. She couldn't turn them heads no more. She walked down the street in her dumb bikini that no one noticed, sad and defeated by life. She wasn't Popular Pam any more. She was just Pam. Plain Pam.

"I'm still starin' at ya, baby." said Myron the Stooge.
"Huh?" said Pam.
"Dat's right. How bout ya marry me?" said Myron.
"I always thought I'd do better. Like get a hunk with money."
"I got a lotta money!"

Myron was good at investing. And banks and selling and stocks and shit. He also still thought Pam was beautiful. Even on the inside, even though he didn't know what that meant or how to see people's inner beauty. He was a stooge lookin' for a trophy. He just thought she was hot. Though I would say, as soon as Pam got ugly to everyone, some of that inner beauty started to shine because you could see the struggle in her, ya know? Maybe it's just me and I'm attuned to that sorta thing.

"Okay I'll marry you." said Pam.

And that is how it works.

1 comment:

Natasha said...

Josh! this is the BEST story you ever written! I love it!