Friday, April 3, 2015

Lice People

Haas had fleas and his fleas had lice and the lice had tiny lice and his house had mice that had lice. Haas's wife who did all the hard work bought mouse traps for the mice. They caught the mice but didn't catch the lice. Haas's wife had an affair with a guy who had crabs, which was crotch lice. She gave crotch lice to Haas.

"Did you give me crabs?" said Haas.
"No." said Haas's wife.
"Lies!" said Haas.
"Lice!" said Wife.
"What's the WiFi password?" said Haas.
"Hahahaha" said Wife.
"That's that password?"
"Word." said Wife.
"Any spaces in Hahahaha?" said Haas.
"One word." said Wife.
"I feel like we're distant." said Haas.
"I'm across the room."
"True." said Haas, "come closer."
"No, you have lice."
"Bitch you have lice!" said Haas, taking a stand.

Meanwhile down in flealand the fleas were talking about what was going on with Haas and Wife.

"I hope these guys keep arguing about whose fault the lice and crabs are."
"Me too that means we can stay longer."
"Yeah. Our trick is to find people who won't get rid of us because they're too busy arguing."
"Yeah. Great trick."
"I wish these people had a dog."
"Me too."
"They just have lice."
"Do you ever talk to the lice?"
"No they're nasty and stupid." said the fleas to each other.

Meanwhile the lice talked too.

"Hey I heard fleas call us dumb."
"What you say? I dumb."
"I said I heard the fleas call us dumb dumbs."
"What huh? I no understand I a dumb a dumb."
"Hmm... well then I guess I'm just a lone lonesome smart lice. Because I understand everything. Wish I could commit lice suicide because it sure is lonely being the only smart lice." said Smart Lice.
"Maybe you can shut your lice brain off and just be driven by pheromones, like me and the other lice."
"Okay good idea." said Smart Lice.

Then a lonesome flea walked up to a lice and had sex with it to try to make a lice flea hybrid. Then they were gonna try to have sex with Haas's wife and see if she'd made a lice flea person hybrid and then the plan after that was to ask the mices to get in on the action. But the whole plan got interrupted because then government drug agents came and bust in the house and arrested Haas and wife for drugs. Lice and fleas and mice jumped on some of the agents. The agents fumigated the house and killed everything inside it.

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