Thursday, August 6, 2015

Rudito's Big Life Decision

Rudito Farmigliano the stubby guy went to the sandwich shop.

"Lots of sandwiches." said the sandwich vendor.
"I want em." said Rudito.
"Which one." said vendor.
"Can't decide."
"Well let me know." said vendor.
"Gosh. The chicken or the tuna...."
"There's the meatball too."
"Oh now this complicates things even more."

These decisions were the hardest for Rudito because they were the most important in his life. He wanted to get it right to enjoy this moment. But he couldn't figure it out. He was standing there holding his putz trying to figure out what the hell to order. Just shaking his confused head with his ball and chain. The ball and chain wasn't his wife. Rudito was on parole and the ball and chain was part of his parole deal. He was on parole for whacking a guy in the head real hard. The guy didn't mind too much but the law did. He was also there with his wife whom he didn't love that much.

"Ugh my wife!"
"If ya don't like me, then leave me... on any curb. Thank you." said Marira the Wifey. She was a wisecracker.

Meanwhile Marira the Wifey was having an affair, and the affair was with a dullard named Carlolo the Studmuff, who had a great body, and he made it real shiny and sheen-like when they met up.

"You like my shapes don't you?" said Carlolo the Studmuff, every time.
"Yes." said Marira.
"I'm pretty fit, right?" he said.
"Yes." she said.

But Carlolo got real used to meeting up, so he stopped making it shiny because the affair meet up started turning into like a routine like a marriage. Marira obviously was bored too.

"Ugh my affair..." he'd whisper to himself.
"If ya don't like it go back to your wife." said Marira.

But Carlolo's actual marriage was boring too because he married Ritita the Wifey when he was young and she was a lady he thought he was in love with, but Ritita couldn't really talk to him real, she could only put on a show to make sure people thought she was interesting which made her very hard to talk to and she liked to talk about just herself and herself for a long time and because Carlolo also wasn't interesting he would just tune out and let her. Plus he was very into his shiny body. Sometimes in the beginning he would try to talk about himself to compete then he gave up and she talked about herself the most.

Anyway it was Carlolo that got whacked in the head real hard by Rudito, and that's because Carlolo found out about the affair. Rudito didn't really care either though because he was bored with his wife, who was bored with Carlolo who was bored with his wife, who was boring but thought she was interesting. He just whacked Carlolo out of routine because that's what he thought he was supposed to do when he caught his wife having an affair. Everyone was stuck in a routine and everyone stayed that way and where they were and Rudito had to drag a literal ball and chain around to the sandwich shoppe.

Rudito eventually went with the tuna but changed to meatball and the very last second.

1 comment:

chris said...
"Rudito's Big Life Decision" art